Fuel

Andrew / October 12, 2009 9:24 AM

Question suggested by Dave. If you've got an idea for Fuel, send it to inbox at gapersblock.com.

I live half a block from a cemetery -- so either I'll be one of the first to go, or I can just go sacrifice myself to the vampires.

madachode / October 12, 2009 9:26 AM

I will start by burning threadless t-shirts and shaving stupid beards off wanna-be hipstir's

Andrew / October 12, 2009 9:53 AM

I don't see how that will help, madachode, unless you'll be using the beard hair for some unknown anti-zombie potion.

mike / October 12, 2009 10:13 AM

The zombies won't bother madachode because his brain's too full of piss and vinegar. When the zombie invasion begins, I'll relocate to a place where zombies and cupcakes aren't trendy.

kelly / October 12, 2009 11:53 AM

My boyfriend has drilled the zombie warfare mantra into my head: Leave highly populated areas. Get a blunt weapon, something easy to swing, NOT a chainsaw. Get into a secured area, preferably elvated so as to see any threats approaching. I've endured many zombie "pop quizzes" of this sort.

sb / October 12, 2009 1:49 PM

I'll be right here - answering the question, "Now that the zombie invasion has begun, do you trust Zombie Oprah's Book Club picks?" My answer will be yes.

Bad Horse Chorus / October 12, 2009 2:43 PM

If it's the zombies from "I Am Legend," my strategy is to find an uninfested submarine to hide in at night. Sink it a couple miles off shore before dark every day and wait for morning. No stupid zombie is going to find me there. Hopefully they would all die off before I run out of fuel. I had considered a normal boat, but what if there's a storm?

For regular 24-hour zombies, I would arm myself and run for the hills, maybe climb something that they are too stupid to climb. I'd put up a good fight, but it's pretty hopeless once they've found your hideout and you run out of food and/or ammo.

David / October 12, 2009 3:32 PM

If it's during the spring or summer, I'm heading straight to a marina and then out onto the lake. I figure if I get there fast enough, I'll be ok -- at least for a while...

I'm not sure what I'll do in fall or winter. I'll probably hug the lake and head off into an unpopulated industrial area.

David / October 12, 2009 4:33 PM

I plan to fight one nonexistent thing with another.

Which is why me, Bigfoot, Count Chocula and a moderate Republican (to be named later) will have the BIG snipe guns ready.

fluffy / October 12, 2009 5:51 PM

I used to think I would kick the Zombie's asses. But now I just think I'll give up and let them gnaw on me. I kinda feel like a zombie now anyway. Maybe I'll start a new breed of zombies- the vegetarian type. whatever.

holden / October 13, 2009 7:23 AM

i would seek out the protection of Blagg the Axeman.

eee / October 13, 2009 9:34 AM

I think holden is on to something...

I'd hide out in my in-law's basement. They have a cellar pantry full of enough food to last a lifetime. And my brothers-in-law have enough random weapons (from crossbows to hunting knives to ceremonial African spears) to protect me. Zombies scare the everliving crap out of me, so I'm leaving it up to those guys to keep me safe while I go catatonic in a corner.