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Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Saturday, May 25

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Andrew / November 15, 2006 2:09 AM

Question suggested by Roseann. Send yours to inbox @

lara / November 15, 2006 2:43 AM

hiding with my friend from our parents in the bottom of our laundry chute, because they wouldn't let us eat dinner together at either's house. a few hours later: manhunt with twenty+ neighbors (some on horseback) and three county sheriff squads forming various search teams.

that night gwen and i learned that parents really take missing eight-year-olds in rural central minnesota seriously...

Baldeesh / November 15, 2006 3:48 AM

Him -"Wanna come over and hang out?"

Me - "Sure!"

Certainly seemed like a good idea at the time.
It wasn't until a few weeks later that I realized what a horrible friend he was.

But I came out on top, and now it's a just a highly amusing story.

The end!

Shasta MacNasty / November 15, 2006 8:11 AM

Joining a sex site at 4 in the morning while drunk and horny. It really did seem like a good idea at the time...

Marilyn / November 15, 2006 8:15 AM

My brother was teaching me how to catch bees, for some reason. He went into the house to get a jar. I saw a bee on a dandelion and clapped my cupped hands around it. When he came out, I yelled excitedly, "I got a bee! I got a bee!" Just after he said, "You do not," the bee stung me, forcing my hands apart as I cried out in pain. Brother said, "I guess you did." I was 5.

jennifer / November 15, 2006 9:04 AM

taco bell.

Roni / November 15, 2006 9:19 AM

lara - I did a similar thing, but I was in kindergarten. I hid with a friend under a table. A kid-hunt happened and boy did I get it when we were found!

stella / November 15, 2006 9:20 AM

. getting married

. friend with benefits

. writing "tiffany is a slut" on the chalkboard in fifth grade

. not showering before work. p.u.

robin.. / November 15, 2006 9:26 AM

Moving to Boston. (cue muted trumpet from high to low, "whauh whaaaaaunh")

michelle / November 15, 2006 9:46 AM

selling my mom's jade and gold wedding band at my neighbors garage sale when i was 7. she didn't wear it that much, and i thought it was ugly because it was green and not sparkly. it sold for $.75. I would have killed me if I was her.

ahn / November 15, 2006 9:48 AM

mixing vices last night.


Max / November 15, 2006 10:22 AM


mike-ts / November 15, 2006 10:30 AM


I get out of high school in the early 80's, and there's no well paying job to be had - the mills, auto plants etc. have laid off thousands, and weren't hiring like they were when my cousins got out of H.S. in the mid 70's and went straight to Gary Works. All the sage advice was to go to college for data processing - it's impossible not to get a job there. So I waste my late teens and early 20's filling my head with Virtual Basic, quick sorts, COBOL, core dumps, employing virtual memory, etc. Then I have a sheepskin within reach, and hit the job market a semester before graduating, as advised.

Two years. Of endless resume sending, job fair attending, job interviewing. Of working with the career placement office in frustration to tell me why in spite of following all of their pointers to a tee, going to mock interviews and getting told that everything I did and said was spot on, that there were nothing to do differently to say "open sesame" and open that door to a programming job. All the feedback I get was that I'm doing it all right. Then I start getting a good number of "your degree is too old" responses, (a response for which no guidance counselor had advice for overcoming) and that makes me throw in the towel on that, since this is supposedly a death knell for getting a programming job.

I'm still surprised I hadn't become a drunk or jumped off a building from that, but boy do I wish I had spent those years partying all the time instead of nose to the grindstone studying. The people I know who were stoners & slackers ended up doing much better than me. But for a dumb 18 year old who new little of the job market, it seemed a Good Idea at the Time. And the kick in the a@@ is, I hate programming.

Erica / November 15, 2006 10:37 AM

Most recent:

Photographing and encouraging a group of friends to bite into a pumpkin decoration at Smallbar, my former favorite bar w/in walking distance of my house.

I have photos. I'll post them soon on flickr (roxxy78). "Tastes like zucchini," my one friend said.

The bartender was not OK w/it and eventually kicked us out, but not before insulting me: "I have the right to refuse to serve you ...



amyc / November 15, 2006 11:20 AM

The old "let's just sleep in the same bed -- nothing will happen."

Ah, college.

fluffy / November 15, 2006 12:14 PM

-getting married

-shaving my little sister's head (well, just 1/2 her head)

-watching any horror movie

-henry, james, david, frank, and other jerks

-trusting people who ended up not caring

-running away from home when I was a teenager

-following other people's relationship advice (especially before realizing how messed up their relationships are)

-too many other stupid things....

-oh, and trying to convince the P.E. coach that I couldn't participate because I was allergic to the sun.

Red Line Rider / November 15, 2006 12:29 PM

Buying a place near Thorndale two years ago.

Oketo! / November 15, 2006 12:35 PM

Taking Western Ave as a cut through in Lawndale, on a warm Sunday afternoon... with many red stop lights...

annie / November 15, 2006 12:43 PM

taking a "nap" on any train.

and falling asleep with gum in my mouth has gotten me two very short haircuts in my life.

Meg / November 15, 2006 1:42 PM

Law school.

Justin / November 15, 2006 1:44 PM

Sharp enough to know at six years that Hot Wheels rust in water and won't float on their own, I thought regardless they ought to be near water or on water. My mom ran a small daycare in our home and, as the workday was ending, had pulled the littler ones from the kiddie pool to dry. Nearby was a pile of cardboard blocks printed like bricks and borrowed from our church's nursery. I remembered that cardboard floats and knew the blocks would stay level in the water so the cars wouldn't roll off. Mom salvaged what she could and my cars were land-based thereafter.

Veronica / November 15, 2006 1:48 PM

Mike-ts, I feel your pain.

For me, what seemed like a good idea at the time? The University of Chicago. You all know what I mean.

JollyJess / November 15, 2006 2:17 PM

I was 18 and with my boyfriend in Orlando. I picked him up and at the door he gave a me a black gel tab ( acid) and said "Here, take this. I'll be right back" He meant "Here, hold this" I didn't know that. I put the whole thing in my mouth. It was too late by the time he got back. For some reason I had to drive to his grandpa's house ( i dont remember why) and stay the night. Here I am, almost trippin balls and I had to drive through Orlando. We get to the house and its dark. By this time, I'm uncontrollably laughing and barely able to drive. We decided to watch " The House on Haunted Hill" b/c i love scary movies. Stupid idea. It scared the living sh*t out of me. If you've ever had a bad trip you know what I'm talking about. For the rest of the night, and it was a long night, I was just freaked out. About everything. My BF and I tried to have sex and it was the grossest thing EVER. His family didnt know I was there or something and I had to leave for a few hours in the morning. I didnt live down there and didnt know any where else I could go for sleep. I ended up going to a place in the woods nearby where there was a clearing you could drive into. I wanted to sleep so bad so I parked, laid the seat back and tried to sleep. I woke up to the police knocking on my window. My eyes were way dialated still and they busted me. Luckily, I wasn't arrested. I never saw that BF again after that weekend.

loadzone / November 15, 2006 2:30 PM

- Business School

- Casino War

- Arbys for dinner after a Taco Bell lunch knowing I had to attend a Sox game and commute back to Buena Park.

- etc.

jeff / November 15, 2006 2:32 PM

Dressing in drag and not wearing enough beard cover throughout the night.

fluffy / November 15, 2006 2:34 PM

It seemed like a good idea at the time 1 hour ago to take the medicine I was prescibed by following the instructions. Ooops. I think someone (the surgeon or the pharmacist) made a mistake. This CANNOT be the right dosage. I probably just took 3 days' worth. And based on the RX warnings, at some point this afternoon/evening, my colon's gonna blow!

Wow, JollyJess - that is scary! Once my sister was tripping and she thought that her boyfriend had a goathead (instead of his own) and she freaked out. To this day, I call that guy "Goathead"

miss casual / November 15, 2006 3:02 PM

sparkx, the candy flavored, orange, caffeinated malt liquor.


can i get an amen?

jen / November 15, 2006 3:35 PM

miss casual, i have no idea what you're talking about. that shit is a party in a can. ;)

unless you have 3-4+. then you're in trouble.

jm / November 15, 2006 3:36 PM

Sparks is ALWAYS a good idea. Before and after.

missmolly / November 15, 2006 4:12 PM

most choices i make were "good ideas at the time!" ha!!

sky / November 15, 2006 4:14 PM

My friend drinks sparks all the time. I think it tastes like Triaminic. Either way, it's hysterical since the can represents a battery.

For me, well that would have to be every sexual encounter with a friend...continuing it beyond a one night thing, and actually believing it would come to something...even when I made them swear to keep it a secret.

After college, having absolutely no idea how to be financially resposible, I told my parents I wanted to pay for everything, out of priciple. I'm an idiot. $10,000 of credit card and collections later, I should have milked that shit for as long as I could. Now I never ask to borrow money when I totally need it because it makes me feel like a tool.

ken / November 15, 2006 5:02 PM

my first marriage.

moving to Florida.

moving back to Chicago (still the best idea though)

cliff / November 15, 2006 5:12 PM

At the time telling my boss that "it's the stupidest idea I've EVER heard, and you're a retard" seemed to be the right thing to do...

jj / November 15, 2006 5:17 PM

The concept of staying friends after a breakup always seems like a good idea, but never is. That goes for staying friends with your freind's exes too.

Spook / November 15, 2006 5:28 PM

Asking Allan about his relationship with his parents! But I do wonder if Blagg ever did some thing
that seemed like a good idea at the time?

mew / November 15, 2006 6:37 PM

canned SPAM

p / November 15, 2006 7:44 PM

Took a cab down to lake michigan and raced a dude in the quarter mile at 4am this summer. Straight redickeruss. Sauced competitive night-swimming is a no-no in retrospect but we were blotto and i love the movie gattaca.

Also- I used to sport a pair of black short-alls.

hamlet, prince of denmark / November 15, 2006 7:56 PM

How now! a rat? Dead, for a ducat, dead!
[Makes a pass through the arras]

O, I am slain!
[Falls and dies]

O me, what hast thou done?

Nay, I know not:
Is it the king?

O, what a rash and bloody deed is this!

A bloody deed! almost as bad, good mother,
As kill a king, and marry with his brother.

As kill a king!

Ay, lady, 'twas my word.
[Lifts up the array and discovers POLONIUS]

Thou wretched, rash, intruding fool, farewell!
I took thee for thy better: take thy fortune;
Thou find'st to be too busy is some danger.
Leave wringing of your hands: peace! sit you down,
And let me wring your heart; for so I shall,
If it be made of penetrable stuff,
If damned custom have not brass'd it so
That it is proof and bulwark against sense.

anon / November 15, 2006 8:30 PM work at Leo Burnett.

And then I realized what a nazi soul-sucking, devil-licking, over-consuming shithole it was.

Toni / November 15, 2006 9:30 PM

Majoring in philosophy.

kelly / November 15, 2006 9:35 PM

hooking up with my personal trainer.

Anonid / November 16, 2006 6:06 AM

Staying with CCH. I liked the people, I liked the job but after four and a half years something changed. Suddenly, nothing I did was right. Even after a year and a half it still bugs me.

em el es / November 16, 2006 8:27 AM

going to college.
going to college in new england.
going to college in new england to study business.

unfortunately they werent even my own ideas... probably a good idea for someone else, but i literally feel like ive wasted my entire post-high school life.

iraq your world / November 16, 2006 9:45 AM

Invading Iraq.

No I mean it.

I am Iraqi-American and I thought, "Awesome!! TAKE THAT SADDAM!!" and everything is gonna be aaaaaaaaaaaaaaw-riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...


jennifer / November 16, 2006 9:53 AM

telling a boyfriend that I loved him before getting on a plane to london. it launched into a long distance relationship that we didn't talk about being in. we should have talked about 'maintaining' our relationship.

another not-so-great idea...returning to a job the job that I had before I left for london. I thought that talking to my boss about what my expectations for the job were (hours, responsibility, tenure of job) would make returning to this office an okay thing. it turns out, in the end, my M.A. and over two years of working for him meant that I was to stay home from a business trip to take care of his puking child. at least one of my best ideas came from this: resigning.

Mikey / November 16, 2006 10:10 AM

In college, approximately 20 of us rented a moving truck and threw a couple of couches and kegs in the back and took a road trip to the University of Iowa...

Along the way, one guy vandalized a rest stop by ripping a drinking fountain from the wall(?) and threw it in the back of the truck, which was promptly reported to the state police by a trucker apparently looking to score some brownie points...

About a mile away from the campus, we were pulled over, and thinking it was just a traffic violation, continued to drink our beer in silence. Suddenly, the back door of the truck was flung open as we were greeted by the sight of about 30 Iowa state troppers. The bumpkin sheriff, complete with ranger hat, yellow lens sunglasses, and a wad of tobacco in his cheek took one look at us, spat on the ground, and said, "You boys are in a heap of shit."

We were all handcuffed and given breathalyzers on the shoulder of the highway, creating a gapers block, before being loaded onto the prison bus. Once processed, we were made to change into orange prison jumpsuits with "Johnson County" stenciled on the back, and spent the night in jail...

A few of our friends who drove there separately were waiting in the courtroom in the morning when we were all led in cuffed and wearing bright orange. They started laughing so hard that the judge promptly tossed them out of her court...

mg / November 16, 2006 11:36 AM

Skipping class one day sophomore year, 1988.

When I was a sophomore in high school, my friends Steve and John and I decided to blow off school one day and go to (that's right) the mall. Steve and John were trouble and I was an impressionable hanger-on. But skipping this day was MY idea. We met and walked around until John's parents left for work, and then hung out at his place for a couple hours. At 8:00 a.m. I called the school to excuse myself and called again at 9:00 for Steve. I was fifteen - - good at mimicking my mother's voice. But John's sister Amy had been in a ton of trouble at school, so when I called for him at 10:00 (as his mother) the woman who answered challenged me. I argued unsuccessfully with her that I was indeed John's mother before giving up and telling him, "dude, you're screwed." With that behind us, we prepared to leave and hop on a bus that would take us to the mall. One problem: for some reason, John's wallet was in his parents' room, which they kept locked ... they were punishing him for something by keeping him away from his money. So, Steve decided to remove the door by popping out the hinges.

Disclosure: the three of us had been smoking pot on a regular basis for a couple months (this was southern California).

Fact #1 Unbeknownst to Me at the Time: John's mom had found his bong a week earlier and when she asked his delinquent sister Amy what it was, she'd said, "oh, that's John's bong. He smokes pot with it."

Fact #2 Unbeknownst to Me at the Time: After my failed attempt at impersonating John's mom, the school called her at work and she immediately drove home.

As soon as Steve got the door off the hinges, the front door swung open and John's mom screamed, "what the hell is going on?" This was horrific. My ears began to ring and my hands shook. I was terrified. What would she think? The three of us hid in her bedroom closet where she quickly found us, berated us and drove us to school. I'd never been more ashamed in my life.

Instead of going to class, we decided to blow off the rest of the day. We were already in trouble, so how much worse could it get? A police officer did not agree and made us go back to school, where we were humiliated once again for being truant.

I was terrified walking home that afternoon. By then, John's mom had no doubt called my mom and told her we'd skipped school. My mom was going to kill me. I'd never missed class before.

Instead, I walked in my front door to two teary-eyed and screaming parents who'd learned I'd been smoking pot and had been caught that morning taking my friend's parents bedroom door off its hinges, no doubt to rob them for drug money. My parents equated pot with heroin. My room had been ransacked (even the switchplates had been unscrewed and searched). I was grounded for months and had to meet with a drug counselor at a rehab facility (she told my folks I was fine). I had to go to work on weekends with my dad and, most importantly, I lost my parents' trust for several years.

I stayed away from Steve and John after that, at first because I had to but later because I wanted to. They continued getting high every day as if nothing had ever happened. A year later they'd be busted for stealing thousands of dollars in merchandise from a local surf shop they worked in.

All told, it wasn't a good idea at the time, but it's probably for the best that I got caught.

peekay424 / November 16, 2006 1:42 PM

The time I decided to spray paint my glasses white (they were pink, ugghh), the rims of course, not the lenses. I took off my glasses (didn't pop out the lenses, steady hand I guess) and pressed down on the spray can luck. So, I put my glasses on my face, turned the nozzle toward my face to see why the hell it wasn't working, pressed down on the nozzle, sprayed - ended up with white rims, lenses, skin, and hair. When I removed my glasses, I sort of looked like an albino with flesh-colored goggles. Thank god for those glasses.

TKO / November 16, 2006 3:24 PM

That last perm senior year of high school. Took most of freshman year of college to grow it out.

Cheryl / November 16, 2006 5:26 PM

That third glass of wine at the office Thanksgiving potluck lunch. Can I please go home now?

Emerson Dameron / November 16, 2006 10:33 PM

One of my best friends told me he'd never been in a fight.

So I hit him.

PMan / November 16, 2006 10:56 PM

Stopping at a Washington DC deli for a post-happy hour nosh and choosing the crab salad.

I was staying at a friend's studio while she stayed with her boyfriend.

The month did not have an R. It was August.

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