Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Monday, March 4

Gapers Block

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printdude / April 9, 2007 7:45 AM

Three Words:




Mikey / April 9, 2007 8:39 AM

Not wanting to be back at work after a 3-day weekend...

Needing to buy a new cell phone today because I got tanked last Thursday night and left mine in a cab...

Having to go to the American Girl store after work to buy my girlfriend's daughter a birthday present...

amyc / April 9, 2007 8:49 AM

We're moving to our new place in May, and my office is moving to another floor in the same building, so my whole life is about packing right now.

Anybody got any good boxes?

jennifer / April 9, 2007 8:59 AM

going back to bed.

Steve / April 9, 2007 9:13 AM

Having a meeting today with the same clowns who laid me off nearly two years ago. Sure, they're clients of mine now, but so far I'd avoided actually having to sit down in the same room as the former boss...

Clarke / April 9, 2007 9:28 AM

101 things are, but what is not that I wish Oh for the days of gel and actual hair cuts.

Hal / April 9, 2007 9:39 AM

Thank God, only a fraction of the crippling migraine I had yesterday.

A series of mini-freak-outs regarding my first ever new-home purchase.

The warm (smug?) feeling that I'm ending my Masters with 2 awesome classes where both the profs and material rock, giving me a near-perfect run in the program, experience-wise.

Drooling in advance over the surf and turf I'm making tonight because I wasn't feeling up to it yesterday.

Jill / April 9, 2007 10:10 AM

How do I make a dent in the "to do" list AND go to bed before midnight?

No, it's not too early to drink a Coke--mostly because I've already been eating plenty of Easter candy this morning.

vit / April 9, 2007 10:14 AM

I sort of would like to get a second job for about one day a week to save some money, and I'm not quite sure how to go about it because I don't have all those fancy computer skills my friends have that allow them to 'freelance', nor do I have any experience bartending. I'm wondering where to start. That is what is on my mind.

skafiend / April 9, 2007 10:42 AM


lisa / April 9, 2007 10:45 AM

how i'm going to get my life together since the guy whom i thought was the ONE has exited my life.
also dealing with why he wasn't the ONE.
trying to get excited for a vacation to new york city this week (i've never been) while intensely and uncontrollably crying and vomiting. i'm exagerating a little bit, but i'm pretty sad.

Dunl / April 9, 2007 10:51 AM

Monday I got coffee on my mind?

Evan C. / April 9, 2007 10:54 AM

What clothes the muppet I'm going to make of myself should wear.

And all the wonderful things I could do with a muppet of myself.

sky / April 9, 2007 11:33 AM

If this is the guy i've been waiting for...if it can work or if I will overanalyze everything and not let things just happen.
How I really could use a nao and just wish it were nice again so i can get on my spring training kick of walking home from work.

fluffy / April 9, 2007 12:02 PM

Why can't I bring my cat to work? I'm sure he's bored at home right now. I hope he's not attacking the roll of toilet paper cause it's the last one I have!

annie / April 9, 2007 12:12 PM

Been thinking about the last season of the Soprano's. Who's going to die?, etc. I'm happy it's back on, Sunday nights are enjoyable again, at least for a bit.

Bill V / April 9, 2007 12:24 PM

I'm going to Disney World tomorrow. Really. It's gonna be warm there all week!

Mo / April 9, 2007 12:27 PM

My graduate thesis. Day and night. In my dreams. Nothing else. Except for the times when my clumsiness is too much to handle and I really hurt myself, like this weekend when I cut the hell out of the same foot I just had surgery on a few weeks ago. Now I'm thinking about that. Also my trip to the Philippines in a few weeks (which is for my thesis), hoping I don't get hurt there or kidnapped or drowned...

Joseph F / April 9, 2007 12:50 PM

What the heck happened to my date on Saturday night, who wasn't home when I got to her place and is not answering her phone. I'm actually a little worried for her.

carrie / April 9, 2007 1:18 PM

Giving the Boyfriend's newly found kitty a flea bath tonight. She's already had one bath and looked real cute afterward.

Thinking about fleas makes me itchy. I hate it.

Trying to figure out why my numbers aren't tying out.

Wondering why centipedes have to come into my house. I hate them. I'm trying to learn to give them the benefit of the doubt, but it's instinct for me to get scared and kill them.

And in general, lately, I've been thinking about how happy I am. I think this might be the happiest I've ever been.

the pet / April 9, 2007 1:25 PM

That song by Information Society is stuck in my head now.

I'm glad my To Do list is a short one today. But I tend to keep it that way.

The whole family is getting together next week, and that makes me happy. It's pretty rare that my sisters and I are all in one spot anymore.

jeff / April 9, 2007 1:47 PM

How happy I am that I met her....
Sounds sappy but it is true.

fluffy / April 9, 2007 2:09 PM

now i'm thinking about how not-so-happy I am. I'm craving brown rice. Why did I used to be so pro-scooby and so anti-scrappy? I never really gave scrappy a chance. I'm paranoid that all my moles are cancerous. could they all really turn against me? why did i have to read that magazine article? damn it to hell.
hey- shrimp and brown rice - yum....maybe add some marinated tofu. scrumptious.

leah / April 9, 2007 2:32 PM

my developer is a douchebag.

it's giving me teenage acne.

JAH / April 9, 2007 2:40 PM

Her name's Amy.

tony / April 9, 2007 2:52 PM


Where in the Philippines are you headed?

Back on topic...

meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow

Mo / April 9, 2007 2:59 PM

Mostly we will be splitting our time between Manila and around there, the mountainous regions of Luzon, and Bohol. I've been told that we don't have too much to worry about violence-wise in those areas--that most of the unrest in in Mindanao and the Sulu islands. But it's still on my mind, mostly because every time I mention where I'm going, the person I'm speaking to says, "Ooh, be careful! "

Got any tips for me?

tony / April 9, 2007 3:23 PM


Apart from the standard advice that comes with visiting unfamiliar territory, especially a large metro area like Manila... not much. Iif you find yourself in Quiapo, be especially mindful of your surroundings (don't make yourself a target for pickpockets/thieves by flashing expensive stuff). Same goes for Greenhills, to some extent.

In the provinces, you can probably take it easier than in the city. And when you're in the mountain provinces, note that it can get pretty chilly at night (at least, that was my experience around December-January).

Enjoy your visit!

d. / April 9, 2007 4:15 PM

im thinking about somebody i shouldn't. don't you hate it when you feel like somebody is playing a huge cosmic joke on you?

i'm also thinking about writing a lot more and maybe publishing a chapbook, but i don't know how and i don't think i've got enough good crap.

ryan / April 9, 2007 4:22 PM

Is anybody else as dismayed as I am about Bank of America taking over Filter and Swank Frank in the Flatiron building inWicker Park?

What an all around disastrous, horrible, no-good development. That is going to suck the energy and action out of that corner in an instant.

skafiend / April 9, 2007 4:32 PM

My "dismay" over what's happenening in Wicker Park ended around the time they shut down Club Dreamerz.

Not trying to play "...In MY day..." but the bank coming there is just one more piece of sh*t on an ever-expanding sh*t sandwich.

RIP Artful Dodger...

i agree / April 9, 2007 4:41 PM

Ryan and Skafiend

It is so upsetting and this just in. 1650 W. Division will be demolished, very soon.

Leelah / April 9, 2007 4:52 PM

I'm thinking about the power of rhetoric...
which helped me become a recipient of the Fund for Teachers grant? This summer, I'll go to South Shields, England to work on an archaeological site (it's a Roman fort)... all I have to pay for is petsitting! Whoo hoo!

kate / April 9, 2007 8:26 PM

All I can think about is finding an apartment... and how god damn tired I am of looking at places.

Dejected / April 9, 2007 9:32 PM

My colleagues are idiots. I hate them all.

jennifer / April 10, 2007 12:27 AM

rwanda. there, I wrote. found out almost a week ago that I have been awarded a fellowship to go there this summer to do some pre-dissertation research. have written pages upon pages about rwanda and have never been. now that I'm going to actually be living there this summer, I'm scared that what I said I'm going to study is going to be something that I'm actually attached to with my own real life experiences, not just those that I've read about in all of the books, articles, et cetera.

can't seem to tell my friends or family. am lying when telling them that I haven't heard yet. only my boyfriend and roommates know. oh, and my advisor.

rwanda. yep, that's what's on my mind...

Blagg the Axman / April 10, 2007 9:04 AM

Vengeance, justice and redemption.

ken / April 10, 2007 9:10 AM

She that is my rock.

Moving back to Florida.

Financing the Move.

Recalling an old Ska/Punk band I played in waaaaayyyy back and getting kicked out of Club Dreamerz - thanks for the stream of consciousness skafiend.

Fluffy - try adding some blackbeans - if its not too late.

Sarah / April 10, 2007 9:33 AM

1. Why hasn't he called me?
2. Seriously, why do I care?

Loadzone / April 10, 2007 10:18 AM

1. Reading about the conversation about the Philippines brings me back to 1988 when my brother smuggled highly powerful fireworks past Aquino airport security AND customs two weeks after Pan Am 103 blew up. That summer my friend's mom accused us of firing off shot-guns in the woods. Heh.

2. Marble frosted donut from Dunkin Donuts.

3. Stacks of Invoices.

4. Cleveland Indians playing baseball in Milwaukee tonight (ala Major League) on what was supposed to be 'Ricky Vaughn Glasses' night in Cleveland.

5. The only clues that stumped me on today's RedEye x-word puzzle was 'Hoarfrost' and 'Alpaca's relative'...WTF is Hoarfrost?

A / April 10, 2007 10:20 AM

Met a guy at Maproom on Friday. Strong mutual attraction. Cannot believe we didn't exchange numbers. Now likely never to see him again. Dry spell continues.

p / April 10, 2007 10:25 AM

lionel ritchie, favorite lingerie combinations, best times and places to drink tequila, thinking he was pretty irritating but realizing david caruso might be equal parts annoying and cool at the same time, remembering to go get some brooklyn brewery no.1 at sam's, wanting to fight the weather after all this constant roosing of appearing beautiful and sunny through the window then whapping you in the face with cold when you get outside but it's irrational to want to scrap weather, guitar heroes, cray-pahs, vesuvio potatoes, i saw a snippet on bet spring bling where they were going up to ppl who looked too old to be on spring break and they said to one guy, "brother.. sam cooke is not playing here tonight. are you here to see earth, wind & fire?", i need to learn how to "save as" on a mac, feeling like i want to go to memphis this summer, rob kelly remix contributions, club sandwiches with avocados.

skafiend / April 10, 2007 10:30 AM

Recalling an old Ska/Punk band I played in waaaaayyyy back and getting kicked out of Club Dreamerz

You got kicked out of Dreamerz?? Me too! Well, actually a friend I was with got the boot but I decieded to leave by association....

And in a ska band to boot, huh? Wow, small world and all that...

peta / April 10, 2007 10:30 AM

Wicker Park has sucked since The Busy Bee closed and my chiropractor left.

Hoarfrost is tundra.

Thinking about nothing. Very zen.

paul / April 10, 2007 10:34 AM

Taxes. Nothing but taxes.

loadzone / April 10, 2007 10:41 AM

Tundra = Rime.

Now I can move on to other things like leftover holiday ham for lunch, wiki's informative entry on PA103, KC William's "1-800 I'm a fool," shame that I laughed at prime time television last night, administering pills to a cat and...does hand sanitizer really work?

fluffy / April 10, 2007 10:51 AM

i can't get that jonestown documentary I saw last night out of my head.
i threw up right after i saw it

i'm enjoying the sun- everything looks so good

poeple in my office are SO fake but hey, their outfits are so fancy and expensive

ken-will add the beans

jasmine / April 10, 2007 10:55 AM

where are all the 50% off peeps? i need to fuel my easter sugar high.

skafiend / April 10, 2007 11:07 AM

5. The only clues that stumped me on today's RedEye x-word puzzle was 'Hoarfrost' and 'Alpaca's relative'

Alpaca's relative.... Llama? Vicuna?

leah / April 10, 2007 11:39 AM

alpaca relative I bet is guanaco.

man they're cute.

spence / April 10, 2007 12:21 PM

The Jonestown documentary on American Experience last night was very emotionally penetrating. It left an "OMGWTF?" feeling that's still with me today.

The only other thing on my mind is why are the "spam filters" triggered almost everytime I try to post on gapersblock. Did you guys change the settings?

ken / April 10, 2007 12:42 PM

Alpaca's closest relative is the Vicuna. Both are in the Family Camelidae and both belong to the Genus Vicugna. Guanaco are the relatives of Llama - Genus Lama

skafiend / April 10, 2007 12:50 PM

Alpaca's closest relative is the Vicuna. ...

OK, I was gonna ask how in the hell you knew that, but I'm not sure I really want to know.

But I'm glad I'm right! What do I win???

leah / April 10, 2007 12:53 PM

damn, I got skooled.

the pet / April 10, 2007 1:08 PM

Now I have The Llama Song stuck in my head.

And that makes me think of The Dalek Song.

And I'm happy that they'll be showing Doctor Who on PBS again.


ken / April 10, 2007 1:09 PM

skafiend -
Three cheers - Bravo! Huzzah! YeeHaw! The prize closet is a bit thin sorry.

I worked for a non-profit wildlife rescue farm and to make long stories short we had a Vicuna and I had an argument to win.

leah - Guanacos are cute

fluffy / April 10, 2007 1:09 PM

imus is an anus

skafiend / April 10, 2007 1:26 PM

skafiend -
Three cheers - Bravo! Huzzah! YeeHaw! The prize closet is a bit thin sorry.

Damn, well that fairly bites... once again my useless info is, well, useless...

Leah, cheer up... the only reason I knew that was because it was part of the lyrics of a song on "Schoolhouse Rock" about going to a zoo or something.

red / April 10, 2007 1:36 PM

trying to figure out a way to leave work early...i'm moving in a couple of weeks and this is my last week at work. there is no work for me to do so all i can do is sit here and think of all the things i could be doing at home.

ken / April 10, 2007 2:07 PM

imus is an anus

You are absolutely right fluffy, I just read the story and.....ughh, you put it best.

n / April 10, 2007 2:37 PM


that is all.

leah / April 10, 2007 2:47 PM

let us not forget the llama's other cousin, the vicuŮa. I mean we may as well cover all our/my (incorrect) bases.

I'm not down anymore, skafiend! looking at photos of these cutes have cheered me right up.

ken / April 10, 2007 3:18 PM

This just in -

President George W. Bush delivered a stern lecture to Democratic congressional leaders Tuesday, asserting that they were being irresponsible in not passing an Iraq-Afghanistan supplemental-financing bill to his liking.

insert punchline here.....

fluffy / April 10, 2007 3:22 PM

Obama's llama drank some java.

I have a HUGE problem with Lionel Ritchie. If you know me, you know that it's the one topic you never bring up. It's been like this since I was around 9 yrs old.

p / April 10, 2007 4:03 PM

the idea that lionel ritchie could inspire anything but joy shocks me fluffy. commodore era lionel brought you "brickhouse" and all the shout-outs to healthy girls and funkiness that entails. pastel t-shirt and white suited lionel made the world swoon and weep with "Hello?.........Is it me your looking for?" And in between we ALL were dancing on ceilings. Plus- the ease and infectiousness of a lionel toothy smile in undeniable.

If this problem is the result of an early morning exit from your boudoire with only a rose and some jheri juice on the pillow case- i can only imagine the heartache. To have loved lionel and lost would surely tattoo the heart with a quill of woe. I would be suprised if you were the only one of gapersblock's lady readership to have tasted the fruit of lionel only to be kicked out of stanley's, however, so more knowing consolations surely are nigh.

JAH / April 10, 2007 4:20 PM

I have no problem with Lionel's music. Now, if he could just do something about that fucking daughter of his.....

fluffy / April 10, 2007 4:23 PM

it's not the bands he was with. lionel ritchie is the devil.

it has nothing to do with tasting his fruit or licking his pit.

i can't comment further. i'm at work and although i can feel lunch forcing its way back up my esophagus, i can't hurl right now. it's not convenient.

skafiend / April 10, 2007 4:37 PM

ALL. NIGHT. LONG (all night) All night long (all night)...

We're going to party... fiesta...forever!

vanessa / April 10, 2007 4:52 PM

I need a date. With a cute boy.

I need to get laid.

(These two may or may not be mutually exclusive.)

Cinnamon / April 10, 2007 5:14 PM

The birthday dinner I have planned for my sweetie tomorrow. :)

Finding out what my raise will be. :)

My work to-do list that grows exponentially instead of decreseases. ;(

ken / April 10, 2007 5:25 PM

Looking around......

.....rubbing 5 o'clock shadow....


....refraining from wisecrack.....


skafiend / April 10, 2007 5:25 PM


get in line. (well, except for the boy thing)

leah / April 10, 2007 5:33 PM

Dang, fluffy, then I guess that means you don't care for one of the best commercials in recent memory (in my opinion):

adorable singing nocturnal forest creatures!

I'd totally party down all night long with that crew, man.

fluffy / April 10, 2007 5:51 PM

That was very cute, (my favorite was the rat by the way) BUT that wasn't the devil singing that version.

Satan wears a white suit, sandals - maybe with thin white nylon socks (or something equally creepy) with a pastel t-shirt and is storing nuts in his cheeks. He has a slight underbite and tries to make you feel as if he's looking r-i-g-h-t into your eyes as he tenderly (or disturbingly, in my opinion) mouths the
most repulsive words in the English language..." it you i'm looking for...."YUCK!
Who is he trying to fool! Didn't he beat up his wife once? And then, his slicked back lame ass overgrown flacid fro....GROSS!

Imagine the most uncomfortable, embarrasing, pathetic, nauseous situation you've ever been in. One you hope you will never ever be in again. You feel trapped. Nails down the chalkboard x 100. It makes you want to cry, barf, and run away quickly. That is how I feel when satan sings.

it's not funny. i woudln't wish this on anyone!

Yoyo / April 10, 2007 7:11 PM

How very ambivalent I am about my current long-term relationship.

Mikey / April 10, 2007 9:09 PM

Cingular/at&t SUCK! You'd think they would give a loyal customers of 8+ years a break when he gets drunk and loses his cell phone for the first time...

Instead, I was told that I wasn't close enough to my "upgrade" date yet and would have to purchase a new phone at retail prices, which start at $170. If I wanted the Razr, which was my first preference, it would cost me $270...

So I went with Verizon instead, who gave me a much better deal for the Razr, even factoring in the $175 early termination fee I now owe Cingular/at&t. I'll be sure to pay that right away...

mike / April 10, 2007 11:52 PM

Laughing all day because a girl in the 5th period HS Lit. Survey class I teach played classical guitar for 5 rock-kids, who then fell in love with her.

Good teaching moment, subtle nostalgic moment for when girls could do small things to make you fall for them.

TC / April 11, 2007 1:07 AM

Now I remember why I left Chicago and came home to Texas after 25 years. I thought only CA was populated by fruits and nuts. Get a life, y'all. Cell phone doesn't work? Oh My GOD! the world is ending.

Wired in Brooklyn / April 11, 2007 4:52 AM

Cocaine. 5:53 am in NY. Coke it is. Whoa.

Mikey / April 11, 2007 8:49 AM

Stay in Texas, redneck...

ken / April 11, 2007 9:24 AM

I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit.

mucifer / April 11, 2007 9:27 AM

this stupid fucking weather.

ken / April 11, 2007 9:36 AM

They should have let him do it

Dan R / April 11, 2007 9:42 AM

Dear Gapers Block,
When will we get a new question? Love, Chicago

Gapers Block / April 11, 2007 10:35 AM

Dear Dan R,
Right now.
Love, Gapers Block

spook / April 11, 2007 3:42 PM

I was actually hoping to draw a response from Allen, Mikey, Mike, etc, some of my favorite cyber battle Royale Combatants, perhaps itís too early in the week?

fluffy, indeed youíre right! I saw such a flurry of activity and immediately went on defense in the name of Lionel. Had I know it was simply you ranting about Lionel,-
I would have ignored it like so much static.

Of course I know I bore you, like college history to a third grader.

Now excuse me while I go listen to some one explain why something canít be done, while I fantasize about throwing him out a window, cause that's whats on my mind, yo!

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