Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Friday, February 23

Gapers Block

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Jill / April 11, 2007 10:19 AM

Kosher Coke.

mike / April 11, 2007 10:23 AM

An organic banana.

with cocaine on it.

jen / April 11, 2007 10:25 AM

the fact that i'm going home to ohio this weekend.

and then, when i return, he'll be back from vacation.

and oddly enough, this coincides with lovely weather returning.

Nutty Hungarian / April 11, 2007 10:26 AM

Goulash with cocaine for dinner tonight.

ken / April 11, 2007 10:27 AM

Organic Air

fluffy / April 11, 2007 10:27 AM

my meds

dave / April 11, 2007 10:33 AM

The potential that is unfolding before me.

jennifer / April 11, 2007 10:37 AM

Knowing I'm getting out of town this weekend.

My search for a new apartment.

All-you-can-drink Diet Coke, courtesy of my employer.

And a nicotine patch.

Emerson Dameron / April 11, 2007 10:39 AM

Homicidal fantasies I picked up from rap lyrics.

loadzone / April 11, 2007 10:43 AM

- The Comics Curmudgeon.

ken / April 11, 2007 10:47 AM

Better Living Through Chemistry - my pharmacist and a bit o' the ol' organic green....

BTW - Has anyone else seen organic water? Seriously, saw it on the shelf at the Jewel - organic freakin' water

d / April 11, 2007 10:48 AM

Thinking of the tacos I'm planning on having for lunch.

Now I just need to find something to keep me going til 5pm.

eep / April 11, 2007 10:49 AM

Going home tonight, ordering pizza to be delivered, drinking Faygo Rock & Rye pop my parents brought me back from Michigan, and seeing my boyfriend for the first time in almost a week.

Is it 5:30 yet?

Graham / April 11, 2007 10:53 AM

Lots of solid events and occasions to go dancing in the weekends to come. Too many to choose from, in fact.

skafiend / April 11, 2007 10:55 AM

Pay day on Friday. I'll have money in my pocket for approximately one day before bills take it all away...

Winediva / April 11, 2007 10:58 AM

Fancy coffee. And dreams of high end bourbon at Whiskeyfest on Friday. Mmmmm....Bourbon.

printdude / April 11, 2007 10:59 AM

My third pot of coffee.

Justin / April 11, 2007 11:08 AM

Hope. Friends.

Allan / April 11, 2007 11:10 AM

I still ain't be got no job but I shelled out the cash I don't have on a used XBOX and it is the best money I have ever spent. I picked it up from my neighbor Tommy Potatoes who gave it to me for $50 bucks. I know this is the old XBOX not the new 360 but hot damn the graphics even on my shit box black and white tv are awesome. I can't wait to get a color set.

Erica / April 11, 2007 11:28 AM

Dunkin Donuts iced coffee. It's on sale this month for $1.50 for a large, plus, with the punch card, it's buy four, get one free.

The nice DD lady punched a new card for my free coffee, which means I'll only have to buy three to get another free one.

Love that Dunkin Donuts.

JAN / April 11, 2007 11:39 AM

Cheap but high-octane coffee, courtesy of my employer.

Anticipating curling up on the couch tonight with a the new girl tonight and "watching a movie."

Leelah / April 11, 2007 11:43 AM

I'm home sick.

Hal / April 11, 2007 11:45 AM

The extra hour of sleep I scored this morning on the 151.

The Red Line was stuck at Sheridan at 8:00 (someone claimed a fire) and since there was an empty 151, I decided to try that rather than getting peltedwith snow on the platform. It took forever, but it was a nice nap.

Carrie / April 11, 2007 11:48 AM

*Well, I had a great night last night, so that’s carrying over to today.
*Getting home and watching the guilty indulgence of Top Model and drinking wine.
*I was going to donate blood, but I can’t, so I took the time to mock up a failure picture of myself and let a few select people know that “malaria areas” are dumb. I kind of cracked myself up in the process. Really, it doesn’t take much.

Tyler / April 11, 2007 11:54 AM

The box of Thin Mints I had for breakfast.

jerry 101 / April 11, 2007 11:55 AM

The weather report. They're claiming that some day it will be nice out again.

Though they have certainly misled me before, I remain eternally optimistic.

Plus I have a week of vacation scheduled for the end of the month. A week of doing nothing. It will be beautiful.

vanessa / April 11, 2007 12:26 PM

Baseball season (even though the Sox lost last night).

It's supposed to be in the 60s next week.

I am happy at my awesome job.

spook / April 11, 2007 12:50 PM

I’m going to allow myself a couple drinks on a none Friday weeknight and rant on Gapers Block of course

uhummm( clearning my throat)

See tonight I’m Looking forward to just a we bit of rare (not enough for a dreaded week day hang over tomorrow) Wednesday night drink’n with some local activist that speak the same revolutionary sh*t as yours truly.

Hopefully I’ll meet some cute intellectual freaky type chicks who don’t think that being in shape/working out is anti feminist!

Yea its gonna cost me a c-note that will go into the campaign coffers of a w*ck a*s Aldercreature who barely deserves to be reelected over a clone of the Daley Empire, but I’ll take my thrills where I can get them in this miserable weather. And I hope yall remember this when yall start b*tching and moaning about how hot it is this summer! That drives a Spook crazy. I never complain about it being "too hot"!

And of course knowing that Allan is at home playing x box while I get paid is pretty helpful. Even though some revolutionaries I know are calling me trader- behind my back, cowards!

And it’s typical that you trite hipsters are dissing Lionel. Yea Lionel put out enough corn ball Sh*t to fill up the outhouse of a fat Mississippi hog farmer. Yea and his daughter needs to be wacked by Angela Davis
but it aint like yall cool hipsters bands( yall know it aint about the music, but just about the cool band name!) can come any where close to Lionel with the Commodores. Come on yall! How you gone dis any one who did songs like Truly, Three Times A Lady, Just To Be Close to You……"gurrllllllllll, just for a moment ....gurrrlllllll,"! Sail On, Too Hot, Brick House, Still, Easy Like A Sunday Morning, etc, etc. Sh*****t and my Grand Momma loved that song “Jesus is Love". How yall gone diss those years
the work he put in!?
See yall shallow like the Red Eye. Yall really need to running all up on Lionel, so step off!

and big up to the Silver Back, Low Land, and Mountain Back Gorilla crews holding it down in forest that the man is destroying, like Tupac said " I see yall!"

whoo....I feel better already!

fluffy / April 11, 2007 1:26 PM

Spook - stop smoking your own crack. I'm the only one that dissed Lionel.

I could say more about your post but you bore me.

jasmine / April 11, 2007 1:46 PM

"Fake Palindromes" by Andrew Bird.

This song makes me happy and with this shitass weather outside, I need all the happy I can get.

Toni / April 11, 2007 1:56 PM

Knowing I have tomorrow off. Yeah!

Frances / April 11, 2007 1:59 PM

Ernest Hemingway and alcohol.

spence / April 11, 2007 2:11 PM

A new global trekker season is starting tonight! wOOt!

daruma / April 11, 2007 2:11 PM

chocolate bobka from New York
iced cookie from starbucks
yellow cake with rainbow chip frosting
i'm sure more sugar to come

skafiend / April 11, 2007 2:13 PM

Someone please peel daruma off the ceiling...

printdude / April 11, 2007 2:28 PM

Another pot of coffee.

My impending trip to I-land.

The baseball season ('specially after that great Sox loss last night)

skafiend / April 11, 2007 2:33 PM

The baseball season ('specially after that great Sox loss last night)

If I still wasn't mortally depressed after that colossal collapse, I'd have a snappy comeback for that...

But there is good news...the Cubs game today was cancelled.

printdude / April 11, 2007 2:42 PM

Oh, let's not forget the 123 or so songs I get to rcok oout tow whilst I work the day away....

Renia / April 11, 2007 2:58 PM

The bag of cinammon and sugar Pita Chips from Trader Joe's I just devoured.

Knowing that I'll be on a plane to Hawaii in 36 hours (sorry, not trying to rub it in. I just stepped into a puddle of slush this morning and cursed teh wretched weather for tainting a city I love so much).

That it's already 3:00.

Shylo / April 11, 2007 3:15 PM

Demerol, Versed, and hummus from Reza's.

shaz / April 11, 2007 3:16 PM

That in a few hours, I'll be home snuggled up in bed with my kitty.

Cramps suck. :(

kleinstadt / April 11, 2007 3:45 PM

This morning, eight cups of coffee.

This afternoon, yerba mate. In liberal quantities.

Only 24 more hours of work to go before I get to go home. Woo hoo!

Oh, and the fact that I'm on vacation next week.

Mo / April 11, 2007 4:29 PM

Nothing. I've taken 3 naps today and still can't shake it. Had to stay home from work I'm so exhausted. Work waiting to be done is the strongest sedative I know.

Jason. / April 11, 2007 4:51 PM

Most Precious Blood.

kate / April 11, 2007 4:51 PM

Just polished off an ice-cold A&W root beer. Holy shit, I'd forgotten how good that stuff is.

I love my nasty weather boots so steppin' in sludge puddles is kind of ok for me... but I really do hate the tiny ice pellets of death that pelt me in the face on my way to the train.

Oh, and I'm having drinks tonight. One hour until my own personal booze cruise. All aboard the good ship tipsy.

sky / April 11, 2007 5:23 PM

I get to see the boy tomorrow for the 4th date...this never happens.
Also the bottle of wine that is waiting for me at home.

anthony / April 11, 2007 6:20 PM

A fabulous White Sox afternoon win

jennifer / April 11, 2007 6:29 PM

it certainly isn't the weather, that's fo' sho'.

trip to chi tomorrow night to see my man/weekend with my man. (catch up sex...!)

coming back to mad with the boy to watch some films at the wisconsin film festival.

a good chat with my advisor re: my work in rwanda this summer.

and, in 30 minutes, a little atnm. (at least I get some cardio in at the same time, thanks to the t.v. on the elliptical. otherwise, I would just nap.)

Steve / April 11, 2007 8:16 PM

This goofy bio of Johnny Marr I've been reading. Suffice to say, as error-laden as my own writing may be, this guy's got nuthin' on me. Fact-checking is a dead art.

That, and I scored a case of Jones Energy Soda at the costco yesterday. Like Monster, but with a sour apple taste. And lots and lots of pineapple and ziti.

printdude / April 11, 2007 9:32 PM

Right now?
Doggie Chaos, with a chaser of three OldStyles.

michele / April 12, 2007 6:59 AM

In three weeks I'll be on a beach in Florida soaking up the sun, reading a book, ignoring the world.

Spandex / April 12, 2007 7:02 AM

Nifong? Ni-wrong!

fluffy / April 12, 2007 8:52 AM

puppetbike! Oh Chok, I love you so!

jeff / April 12, 2007 8:55 AM

A small pot of coffee and my 10 yr old son. He is spending spring break with me and is a blast to hang out with.

Tobermory / April 12, 2007 9:16 AM

I brought my dog to work today so I have warm snuggles to look forward to and then tomorrow I'm off to St. Louis!

michelle / April 12, 2007 9:29 AM

7 more weeks of school, which means only 7 more weeks of an hour long commute, grading papers, and listening to excuses of why they were too busy to show up to class.

knowing that soon it will be sunny, 75 degrees and i can wear flip-flops again, while strolling outside listening to Fleetwood Mac.

Allan / April 12, 2007 9:30 AM

I think you should stop making my life a joke in your posts. I am skinny now. I have lost a lot of weight and have not gained any of it back. I know that I will get a job soon but you will continue to be a bitter old sow long after I start pulling in my five figure salary. There is something you can do for me though. The next time you get your faux activist ass off your mattress on the floor of your one room shared toilet down the hall "studio" apartment and slither yourself into you second hand suit and tie to schlep yourself to your bourgeois job to shake your money maker for the "MAN" think of me, all skinny in my Calvin Klein underwear, chilling just about as hard as I can, free to masturbate when the urge strikes me playing XBOX in the comfort of my own home. Now who sounds like a loser.

Su / April 12, 2007 10:32 AM

A boy that keeps sending me dirty emails.

paul / April 12, 2007 10:43 AM

Coffee and hunger.

Annie / April 12, 2007 10:45 AM

I got dumped last Saturday by a boy I really liked, and I think I'm getting over it. For the first time in a while I don't feel like crying. That's a pretty nice feeling.

matt / April 12, 2007 11:17 AM

The fact that I'm in warm warm Mexico, and will be for another month.

Everybody's allowed to skip one winter in their life, right?

spook / April 12, 2007 11:21 AM

O contraire, Sir Allan, your life isn’t the joke of my posts! But I can't lie, I enjoy them so! Now to shed light on a few mised details.
I don’t reside in a studio but a ghetto condo. I guess I could’ve- barely- afforded
with one of those sub prime loans that people are defaulting left and right on, a studio condo in trendy Wicker Park. But heck you’ve “seen” me in this cyber room, picture me sharing a building with Trixy, Chad, and their Golden Retriver! Instead I got a 1,400 foot "joint" in Chicago’s own Spanish Harlem! It’s ghetto but mine and Lincoln and Wicker parkers pay far more for rent than I do for my mortgage. No suite for Le Spook! Today I rock Old Navy pants ( ten dollars), jacket( 15 dollars) , A Gap outlet shirt( 15 ) and a tie that I brought,( three for 12 dollars) right out side the Adams Morgan Metro stop in D.C. from a man with a shocking likeness to Mullah Mohammed Omar. The most expensive item being rocked by Spook is my recently purchased Black cow boy boots from my good friends at Alcala’s, word!
And I don’t make money for “the man”. Spooks don’t do corporate, it’s against our Code
Now, let’s get back to you. I really dont’ think you’re wearing Calvins. I mean where would YOU happen upon them? Is just not your style, chronic masturbation yes, Calvin Clien trendy, no! Seriously Allen, don’t let Corporate America dictate to you. Let the Allen of old dictate and masturbate Allen. What’s wrong with not working and being fat? Your gained back weight just represents “Good Living”! Isn’t that what life is about? And don’t let other people set objectives for you! like they said “let Reagan be Reagan” I say, let Allen be Allen!
A five figure salary isn’t Allen. But a birth in the Guinness Book of World Records for say, Most Popeye’s Fried Turkey Eaten in One Setting, is! There must be masturbation record to be set! Maybe excelling at these “Allen-isms” will be the ticket to fame and fortune for you. I can see it now, like the brother on the Uncle Ben’s Rice box, Allen becomes the symbol of the Popeye’s Fried Turkey! Perhaps, you will “be” an X box game! Picture an electronic “Allen” chasing fried turkeys across the screen and after gobbling up 20 (with out being destroyed by Richard Simmons), the electronic YOU gets to masturbates furiously, until the next round, level two!
Salute Allen; hold on to your dreams sir, they will make you great!

A true cyber fan

p.s and what happen to that Blog!

JAH / April 12, 2007 11:27 AM

Nothing. Now I'm going to go back to bed and read Cats Cradle with the covers over my head.

fluffy / April 12, 2007 11:43 AM

hmmmmm..he speaks of himself in 3rd person; he's obssessed with hipsters, trixies, chads and red eye readers; and he focuses way too much on other people's lives. His writing is chock-ful of 3rd grader spelling errors and there's an air of immaturity and overcompensation with every post (especially when he's answering to someone, which he seems to always be doing)



spook / April 12, 2007 12:09 PM

How lovely!
How are those meds working for ya today?
And you're right-O-right on the air of immaturity, Child like chaos in this mad man’s body!
And I am obsessed with Red Eye Readers!
I’m thinking of “waging war” on those Red Eye Boxes
Stay tuned!

annie2 / April 12, 2007 12:40 PM

there are two annie's that post here so i'll be annie2.
A new haircut has me going, i don't really love it, but it's different and change is good. that and I lost 20 lbs. yay!

asd / April 12, 2007 12:42 PM

Spook is the new Marilyn

CC / April 12, 2007 12:50 PM

Lolla's lineup. It's solid but could still use a big name act.

p / April 12, 2007 12:55 PM

later for whatevs you all are talking about saltily- hate fueling you through the day is for darth vader and blue island skinheads. Coffee, dirty emails and being in mexico are MUCH better ways to "hold strong."

perhaps whats getting me through the day nicely can help you as well- a man named Wynonie Harris. He was mentioned over at today and upon looking him up on itunes i crown him Champion Of All Dudes In The History Of Dudes. "Good morning judge...why do you look so mean sir?" , "I like my baby's pudding, I like it best of all", "what good is your stove if it don't give out no heat", "all she wants to do is stay at home and HUCKLEBUCK (!!!) wit daddy all night long" and several other tunes i am now obsessed with. One of the albums is titled Risque Blues, and and that is something i can get behind. Who likes the blues??? What other Olde Timey Gangsters of HuckleBuck have i been walking around not knowing about?? What other songs are telling the rainy nonsense to kiss your ass? Nice try shitty weather, this dude's got me feelin' GOOD today, bwoy......

Alln / April 12, 2007 1:08 PM

Okay Spook let's call a truce. I will think of you fondly every time I wipe my ass after a fried turkey induced dump and you can think of me every time you fail to nail one of those "intellectual freaky type chicks" you prey upon and end up sadly whacking your monkey underneath the poster of Che Guevera you have hanging over your mattress on the floor of your 1,400 joint. Oh and let me clarify. I do indeed wear Calvin Klein and you, know doubt, would be more than impressed with the bulge therein. Where did Allan get them? I picked up a three pack at Carsons before they closed down shop. 75% off. Perhaps someday Spook, if your good, I will pull down my CK's in your presence and smack you in the face with their considerable contents. Nuff said.

Flynn / April 12, 2007 1:08 PM

JAH, no kidding. I need to go reread Sirens of Titan, God Bless You Mr. Rosewater, and Breakfast of Champions. I also realized that I'd loaned out a bunch of my paperbacks, and I need to go replace them immediately.

It's hard today.

skafiend / April 12, 2007 1:32 PM


Bullmoose Jackson, Red Prysock, Arthur Lee from Love (when he went solo and did weird stuff like "Oh, what a dish/she smelled just like a fish..."), even Louis Jordan gets a little lacivious now and then....

Leelah / April 12, 2007 2:19 PM

I was fortunate enough to meet (ok, stalk and talk to) Kurt Vonnegut twice. Both times he said the exact same thing to me. He was the best. So it goes.

amyc / April 12, 2007 2:31 PM

Second interview scheduled at a job I might want (and that is definitely better than the job I have, which has totally sucked ass this week).

Also, I put the down payment on the new place last night. Holy crap, I've never written a check so big.

fluffy / April 12, 2007 2:40 PM

Leelah: I hope you don't mind answering. what did he say?

Kurt Vonnegut / April 12, 2007 2:59 PM

For the last time, stop stalking me or I'll file for a restraining order!

p / April 12, 2007 4:18 PM

thanks skafeine i'll check em out. love that louis jordan- "beans and cornbread" is too classic.

p / April 12, 2007 4:21 PM

for clarity's sake- i meant "too classic" as a good thing. that didn't read too well. it was a pejorativ...ah whatever i didn't major in math. "beans and cornbread" is a timeless treasure and i love it.

spook / April 12, 2007 4:50 PM


How you make me blush!
But so be it then, a truce to celebrate the coming of the weekend!

But may this truce
last only for the rest of this thread.

hey "sad!"

I’m far funnier and more, well quixotic, like a midsummer night's dream,
than Marilyn! What happened to her btw?

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