Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 


Tuesday, April 23

Gapers Block

Gapers Block on Facebook Gapers Block on Flickr Gapers Block on Twitter The Gapers Block Tumblr


Craig / June 23, 2003 11:57 AM

Complain about the weather.

brian / June 23, 2003 12:09 PM

I spent yesterday baking at Oak Street Beach. The water was too cold to swim, but there is nothing in the world like hanging there, especially after so much cold. It was brilliant.

Oh, and I stayed awake. Last time (last year, alas) I fell asleep and started snoring. Sheesh.

Alejandra / June 23, 2003 1:13 PM

Smack it and make it obey my will!

Andrew / June 23, 2003 1:17 PM

We're going to grill on the back deck as often as possible. And as soon as our screen door comes in at $#@*% Home Depot, we'll be able to let the breezes in without leaving the door open, too.

Bliss / June 23, 2003 1:47 PM

Make it to Ravinia at least twice, a Cubs day game at least once, and as many festivals/parades/farmer's markets as I can before the chill comes back and hibernation sets in.

j3s / June 23, 2003 1:54 PM

Bike, picnic, grill, camp, and hopefully make friends with someone who has a sailboat. Oh, and use the air conditioning as little as possible.

Naz "Hot in Herre" H. / June 23, 2003 2:28 PM

I gots Nelly on the block, wait, is it Ja Rule? DMX. Whatever. I gots that Hot In Herre song going on, some Loverade, they'll be some sexin' some sweatin, some fightin, some lovin', some smokin', whoops, this is not a rap video.

Ahem. Staying cool in the shade folks, staying cool in the shade. Good times ahead, this is going to be a great summer, indeed.

Wendy / June 23, 2003 2:56 PM

I'm gonna see if you really can fry an egg on the sidewalk, just like Grandpa says.

Well, okay, I'm just going to look for the perfect beer garden. And take road trips.

Marc / June 23, 2003 4:01 PM

Road trips, outdoor drinking, long bike rides, cranking the A/C to 11 (mine goes to 11), sweating a lot.

j3s / June 23, 2003 4:18 PM

Oh yeah, wanted to mention one other thing: the importance of SUNBLOCK!! I do not leave the house in the summertime without the stuff at least on my face. Cancer happens, especially with our depleating Ozone layer, so please, everyone wear some kind of protection.

susan / June 23, 2003 5:18 PM

Working in a really, really, REALLY air-conditioned lab. Oh, and since it's a cancer bio lab, I second that bit about the sunscreen.

Kegz / June 23, 2003 10:52 PM

sit in traffic, ride my bike, and bite my nails as the cubs contend after the all-star break.

As opposed to the rest of the year when I just sit in traffic and ride my bike.

Paul / June 24, 2003 7:14 AM

I'm going to get my bike in working order, and then realize it's 95 degrees outside and I really hate riding my bike in 95 degree weather. So I'll put it aside for a while.

amyc / June 24, 2003 7:35 AM

I'm going to enjoy the heat in theory -- I'm glad our relentless winter is finally over, but these 95-degree, 95% humidity days give me migraines. I'll wave at you all from my air-conditioned apartment.

stephen / June 24, 2003 12:42 PM

First off, I'm going to freak out Broadway-style. Then I'm going to hold the line, because love is never on time.

And then maybe play some Boston.

sr / June 24, 2003 5:10 PM

well, this last weekend i learned how to play croquet. no - like, for real croquet. i had to wear all white and say "wicket" a lot.

it's not as easy as it looks, people.

but i don't plan on doing too much more of that nonsense. nosirree, it's going to be much lounging in the hammock and watching DVDs projected onto my garage.

phil / June 24, 2003 5:31 PM

"make friends with someone who has a sailboat?"...solid foundation for a friendship! kinda prententious, eh? AC and a glass of haterade is coooooool!!!

Naz "I lack a sailboat" H. / June 24, 2003 5:35 PM

I sometimes wish I had a sailboat so that I could use that to gain friends and influence people. It's all about sippin' that Haterade folks.

Naz "The H is for Hipster" H. / June 24, 2003 5:46 PM

Oh, not to mention drinking PBR, with my Trucker Hat slightly askew, tight pants rolled up capri-style while I tell everyone that I'm a "Metrosexual".

Alejandra / June 25, 2003 7:59 AM

Naz, if you do all that -- then I'll definitely be drinking Haterade! But first, I hit you on the head with your trucker hat, and then I'll make you eat it and THEN I'll drink my Haterade.

Now that would be the "deckest"

Miss Black / June 25, 2003 8:48 AM

I thought people bought sailboats BECAUSE they were unlikeable jerks that wanted summertime, fair-weather friends. Maybe that's just in Michigan.

I plan on sitting in front of the window unit praying for rain.

j3s / June 25, 2003 9:26 AM

Actually the "making friends" comment was a running joke for several years now, not something I'd actually do. But if you want to read my pretentious personality into it, that's your prerogative.

On the flipside of that, I've signed up for sailing lessons. When I was growing up, my dad had a crappy little boat that we used to spend whole weekends on. I miss just being out on the water, it was very peaceful. (Except for the swearing; I learned to curse from my father in his sailor mode.)

Naz "The H is for Hipster" H. / June 25, 2003 9:56 AM

I actually do want a sailboat or a boat. I always teased my friend who made quite somemoney back in the day thathe should buy a boat.

It just seems like a nice thing to do especially on a day like this.

Jes, if you go sailing, I'm totally hitching a ride.

Alex, I got a fisherman's hat instead. I'm going to bring that beat back.

Alejandra / June 25, 2003 10:18 AM

Dude, think different. Wear a freakin' sombrero! As the great Hobbes once said, "What fun is being 'cool' if you can't wear a sombrero?"

Naz "Hatmaker" H. / June 25, 2003 10:40 AM

I may find a poncho to go with it, I always thought those were pretty nifty. I think some designer even made them for men a while back. In all black.

Craig / June 25, 2003 10:56 AM

Do you mean Poncho or Baja?

The Observationist / June 25, 2003 11:19 AM

Sit inside and enjoy the aircondition...

Naz "Hot for poncho" H. / June 25, 2003 11:54 AM


dce / June 25, 2003 4:55 PM

Summer. I loathe her.

And not just a little. My hatred is pure, undiluted.

She doesn't like me either. Her favorite pastime? Forcing me onto a crowded bus, without air conditioning, on one of those rare days I'm wearing a tie. She howls with laughter at that, I can tell you.

On occasion, she turns up the humidity; making everything in the apartment sticky with moisture. The pages of books buckle and warp, and towels go damp without use.

All while she sits in the corner giggling.

She's beautiful though. What with the cool waters of Lake Michigan and the gentle breezes and such. God. The snow cones. All sweet and sticky down my arm . . .

But she ain't no angel. Those wings aren't real. She beats me down, bathes me in my own sweat when I just wish I could sleep. Just a little, please, I have to get up so early . . .

Fuck you. Leave me. Get out of my life, will you?

I didn't mean it. I didn't. Please, come back. Just lie here a while and don't say anything.

heather / June 26, 2003 1:01 AM

lucky me, for having befriended a sailor.

and for loving sun. and sweating. and summer. and freckles. and sandy smooches.

I'll pretty much sit around in my sarong, cashing the unemployment cheques and reading every book that comes my way.

Wendy / June 26, 2003 7:16 AM

Yeah? Well, some of my friends are PIRATES. Aarr! And they have the best hats of all!!!!!!!

Miss Black / June 26, 2003 8:28 AM

I prayed! And it worked! It's raining!

And from what I hear Pirates love rain. Sailors too. It gives them a chance to try out their hats.

Ian / June 26, 2003 9:05 AM

...try out their hats and sing ancient pirate sea shanties.

stephen / June 26, 2003 11:03 AM

Hah! Figured one of yous would run across that times article..I think we all should spend the summer getting in touch with our feminine sides, and saving up for Diesel jeans. They actually aren't fooling around. There's tons of us now with the whole Diesel/Kiehl's/etc thing going on, its more about just giving a shit about how you look and your body, and not wearing visors and flipflops to bars. If I see that again someone's getting a fucking lesson in Kenpo. Bloody hell.

Paul / June 26, 2003 11:41 AM

Apparently, summer has indeed gone away for the day. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

annfrankenstein / June 26, 2003 11:59 AM

wrasslin' a million pound AC unit into the smallest! window! ever!

(well, that and honing my bad hyperbolic skillz, apparently)

lacey / June 26, 2003 2:14 PM

My summer plans include going out on a date with a real pirate and writing about it on Gaper's Block.

GB store

Recently on Fuel

Urban Ethos [26]
What is Chicago's "urban ethos"?

Cool Glass of... [16]
What're you drinking?

Supreme Decision [22]
What's your reaction to the Supreme Court's decision on the Affordable Care Act?

Taking it to the Streets [20]
Chicago Street Fairs: Revolting or Awesome?

I Can Be Cruel [9]
Be real: what is the meanest thing you've ever done?

View the complete archive

GB Store

GB Buttons $1.50

GB T-Shirt $12

I ✶ Chi T-Shirts $15