Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 


Monday, February 26

Gapers Block

Gapers Block on Facebook Gapers Block on Flickr Gapers Block on Twitter The Gapers Block Tumblr


jeff / February 5, 2006 10:25 PM

The GoDaddy one was the best I'm thinking. Overall they were pretty good.

Steve / February 5, 2006 11:03 PM

As has been the trend for many a year, most of the ads served as comic relief and nothing more.

Seriously, if your teacher were to give you a handout with the new commercials -- minus the brand names -- on one side and the company names on the other, would you be able to correctly match more than a third of them?

Special kudos to Emerald Nuts for blowing its entire annual ad spend on one of the dumbest commercials ever. What, the guy behind the Victory Auto Wreckers spot wasn't available?

j / February 5, 2006 11:33 PM


Honestly, with a fraction of what was paid to the ad agencies given to a room full of stoned college students I am certain that funnier commercials would be created.


Flynn / February 6, 2006 8:03 AM

Ahh...nothing like the United spot. Let's see, company slashes pensions and then just as they come out of bankrupcy, they spend ~$2.5 million on 30 seconds. That's only 32 years of pension money at $75k/year.

And that doesn't count the cost to produce that animation, which couldn't have been cheap either.

But hey, I'm sure having people see that ad helped improve their on time rating somehow.

anne / February 6, 2006 8:59 AM

Mostly recycled! I was bummed not to see more "just for the superbowl" commercials. The one time all month I'm not watching something filtered through my TiVo, and the commercials were lame. geez.

Non Serviam / February 6, 2006 9:23 AM

TV sucks, sports suck, the annual Super Bowl commercials watch sucks

Brian / February 6, 2006 9:25 AM

Kids are starving in China, and you're worried about superbowl commercials?

Vanessa / February 6, 2006 9:51 AM

Are you guys serious? Because feel free to create your own website if GapersBlock isn't serving your angry-douchebag needs.

Wong Fu / February 6, 2006 9:53 AM

Brian -- they aren't starving back in China; they just feel hungry again an hour after eating....

Annie / February 6, 2006 9:53 AM

MacGuyer in the Mastercard commercial! Fantastic.

Johnny Visionary / February 6, 2006 9:57 AM

My former employer,, ran 3 commercials during Super Bowl XXXIII. Then we found that was all of our VC money, and went out of business.

On hindsight, we had a lousy business model anyway. Who'd want to buy an angry douchebag online when you can find one free on any corner?

Spooky / February 6, 2006 10:00 AM

Man Oh man, that DeBeers Diamond commercial
sure was sweet!

David Bowie singing "Under Pressure" in the back ground and that cool wall street super hipster guy shouting "I love this women" then out from now where that horde of berserking Angolan, Namibian, Botswanian, Congolese, South African, Liberian and Tanzanian rebels and soldiers rushing up from behind with gleaming machetes, cutting off his hand and then loping of his girl friends nose and ear and then disappearing into the subway!
Then that calm voice intoning "DeBeers funding African wars and oppression since forever, because Diamonds are forever" DeBeers 1888 to forever. Ending with a old picture of Cecile Rhodes "winking"! Hands Down I say, Or bloody stump Down!

that not so fresh feeling / February 6, 2006 10:03 AM

AngryDouche (TM) --- because sometimes gentle Masengill just doesn't get the job done.

Spook / February 6, 2006 10:07 AM

wondering if Vannessa will star in my next Debeers Diamond Commercial entitled Stumpy meets legless grumpy from Iraq at Starbucks


The director!

a sincere plea / February 6, 2006 10:12 AM


please stop. your posts are confusing or annoying at best, and completely unintelligible at worst. really, just stop.

p.s. wtf is a wall street hipster? i think that is an oxymoron. just wondering.

Big Purp Sippa / February 6, 2006 10:14 AM

The Gillette ad in which they harnessed the power of fusion to create a new five-blade razor for shaving succeeded in blowing my mind several times… in fact I think my mind was even more blown the second and third times around.

mark / February 6, 2006 10:17 AM


maybe if all the advertisers had got together and weaved some type of advertising tapestry that used all there products in an on going story
say the chimps from career builder using the FIVE blade fusion razor to shave the sheep who then have to explain to the bud clydesdale's what the scoop is while they engage in some elicit activity with jessica simpson and miss piggy as bud's and pizza are consumed in copius amounts

naw that would suck too

jp / February 6, 2006 10:33 AM

WELCOME TO THE FUTURE: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades

Hal / February 6, 2006 10:49 AM

Johnny Visionary doth quote, "My former employer,, ran 3 commercials during Super Bowl XXXIII. Then we found that was all of our VC money, and went out of business."

Did we both work for the same firm? Because my old boss from an IT consulting firm in Texas was behind the "" ad a few years back which was exactly that - Super Bowl XXXIV to be precise, I think. No one could even figure out how it was pronounced, let alone what they did (some type of high-concept knowledge management web consultancy, I think), so they tanked within 12 months of the ad. Thank God I was long gone at that point.

Anyway, topic?

I fast forward through commercials so much these days, I'm not entirely sure which ones were new for the Bowl. Magic Refrigerator was funny, but I'm 90% sure I've seen it before.

Though it did smack a bit of hipster-ness, the Sprint/Nextel Crime Deterent was funny enough to warrant at least one TiVo rewind. And it did clearly outline the selling points beyond that punchline.

The Motorola PEBL ad was mega-cheesy, but somehow, kinda cool to me.

As one who despises how cell-phone users become oblivious to their surroundings [where they, say, walk directly in front of my car without noticing a) me and more importantly, b) the FREAKING RED LIGHT RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM], the ESPN Mobile ads were infuriating as they seem to promote that lack of awareness as a good thing.

Hal, again. / February 6, 2006 10:57 AM

Oh, and SIX blades (five front, one back) AND a battery powered option? Jesus.
I appreciate that Product Development folks have to constantly come up with new things, but, really, at this point, I'd have to say the razor market is saturated and you should move on to something else.

Steve / February 6, 2006 10:59 AM

Technically, doesn't a three-floating-head electric shaver have something like 50 blades on it? Now THAT was an achievement. These manual-blade-makin' chumps have a looooong way to go, baby.

Big Purp Sippa / February 6, 2006 11:10 AM

Steve, I think you missed the part where the Gillette technicians harnessed the power of FUSION to create this razor. Meanwhile your cute Norelco harnesses the power of a wall-mounted outlet. To employ a Superbowlism, go big or go home.

Brian / February 6, 2006 11:13 AM

The Walter e smithe sing our theme song contest comercial rawked!

Le Spookster / February 6, 2006 11:19 AM

yea "a sincere plea " I can understand your befuddlement. You have to have some sort of vague understanding of world events to understand my DeBeers commercial, that you can't get from watching your beloved T.V commercials or sports. I'm sure your brain stem think it has something to do with "Da Bears", Genius.
P.S and if your going to attempt to insult me at least have the courage to use your own screen name.
And then there was that darling NFL Stupid Bowl commercial advertising that new Beer thats sweeping the nation " Sammuel Jackson Beer" made painstakingly by him, Sammule L. Jackson, its his Beer!

leah / February 6, 2006 11:37 AM

I sincerely liked the Budweiser with the clydesdale that pulled the big ol' wagon with a little bit of secret help from some pals.

Also the Budweiser streaker commercial.

Lastly, GoDaddy can GoSuckAnEgg. Gahd.

Andy / February 6, 2006 11:45 AM

I actually missed most of the commercials, because we kept flipping over to animal planet to watch PUPPY BOWL II. Seriously, whoever thought of that idea must have been stoned or just completely out of their mind. And don't even get me started on the KITTY HALFTIME SHOW!!

NSH / February 6, 2006 11:50 AM

Leah Excuse me while I put my tin foil hat on, but I heard some guy bitching on Good Morning America that the Budweiser ad was using subliminal advertising. The kid horse wanted to be like his mom/dad by pulling the "wagon" (or drinking bud), all while the grandpa agreed to keep his budweiser experience "a secret".

jp / February 6, 2006 11:57 AM

Oh, yeah: I should've made note of this in my previous comment, but several Chicagoans were invloved in Flak Mag's Annual Real-Time Reviews of Super Bowl Ads. In case, you know, you were watching Puppy Bowl II and need to catch up on what you missed.

Emerson Dameron / February 6, 2006 12:21 PM

I often wish I was still a young'un. I'd be excited about hanging out in an office. And I think I'd've had fun making my toy robot fuck my toy dinosaur in an attempt to create a Matchbox Hummer.

leah / February 6, 2006 1:13 PM

NSH, I hadn't heard that. People can see into anything what they want or don't want to.

I'm oblivious to all messaging subliminal and otherwise when the image on the TV is TEH CUTE.

slb / February 6, 2006 2:31 PM

i forgot to find a tv to watch yesterday, which means i missed puppy bowl! i was actually kind of looking forward to that.

i don't really get the whole superbowl commercials thing, really. i tried watching it once for that reason and was very let down. but that's good, because it means i don't have to sit through all of that football...

hench / February 6, 2006 3:22 PM

i liked the one with the guys and the beer and the other guys and the beer and the talking animals and the stuff with the lights and the loud music and the beer. that one was the best.

pat / February 6, 2006 3:54 PM

am I the only one who thinks the tagline "brown and bubbly" isn't the most pleasant sounding images for a consumer product?

uhm thanks pepsi?

Big Purp / February 6, 2006 3:54 PM

FUSION, people.

George Aye / February 6, 2006 4:37 PM

Brown and Bubbly. I almost forgot about those incredibly expensive, over produced, cliche loaded, commercial with Puff "I like to suck Pepsi cock" Daddy.

That commercial just about summed up everything that's wrong about hip hop. 1) Puffy, 2) too much money to spend 3) so few orignal ideas.

Dan ZP / February 6, 2006 4:50 PM

gillette harnessed the power of a blue-light canister and tempered it with the power of an orange-light canister. how? well, they whipped the complimentary-colored lights through an atom-smashing power razor machine! comprised of two semi-circular tracks, the machine produced at its center the greatest shaving device ever imagined. and they filmed it all, and showed it to us during the super bowl! sure, gillette could have kept this "fusion" process a remote myth. but they took the noble route and let us inside their factories, demystifying the process. laud them, people. laud them and their brilliant fusion!

Big Purp Sippa / February 6, 2006 5:01 PM

It was a really good idea to film it.

kuz / February 6, 2006 5:03 PM

Fed Ex:
caveman-on-dinosaur violence = funny
dinosaur-on-caveman violence = funnier

Nuxrs / February 6, 2006 5:39 PM

George, saying that Puff Daddy represents what's wrong with hip hop is like saying Bon Jovi represents what's wrong with indie rock.

Leelah / February 6, 2006 5:54 PM

I can't believe someone else watched the Puppy Bowl... and the Kitty halftime show.

I didn't see it until after the Superbowl was over, though.

Worst ad - Pepsi.

Angie / February 6, 2006 11:19 PM

Well, let's not forget the numerous ads for one oversexed, overdramatized, overplayed Grey's Anatomy.......which I totally watched and loved! I try to hate that show, but still find myself strangely riveted to it. Must be the crack.

GB store

Recently on Fuel

Urban Ethos [26]
What is Chicago's "urban ethos"?

Cool Glass of... [16]
What're you drinking?

Supreme Decision [22]
What's your reaction to the Supreme Court's decision on the Affordable Care Act?

Taking it to the Streets [20]
Chicago Street Fairs: Revolting or Awesome?

I Can Be Cruel [9]
Be real: what is the meanest thing you've ever done?

View the complete archive

GB Store

GB Buttons $1.50

GB T-Shirt $12

I ✶ Chi T-Shirts $15