Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Wednesday, October 16
Aye, this ships wheel on me pants is driving me nuts!... Arrrh!
Avast ye Maties, I be arguin' wit myself o'er the proper place for a Clinchin' party.
I've a vat of rum fresh from the islands and me bird be peckish o'er the fact she's near the sand and I've nothin' but time and an empty cup.
Next we'll be holdin' the choke-in' party, Savvy?
Yarr, speakin' of pirates, if the Cubs win it all this year, I nominate the Pirates to pick up the "lovable losers" mantle. Yar.
So this pirate walks into a bar and sits next to a drunken wench.
The wench looks him over and says, "Nice pirate outfit. Where'd you get your earrings?"
The pirate says, "Arr, I bought one from the dollar store on the other side of town and I got the other from the dollar store across the street."
So the wench exclaims, "Wow! Not bad for a buck-an-ear!"
So this pirate walks into a bar and sits next to a drunken wench.
The wench looks him over and says, "Nice pirate outfit. Where'd you get your earrings?"
The pirate says, "Arr, I bought one from the dollar store on the other side of town and I got the other from the dollar store across the street."
So the wench exclaims, "Wow! Not bad for a buck-an-ear!"
Aaarghh mother fuckers! What the fuck be ye hence. You scabby barnacle ball sucking scurvy dog. Rrrrrrrr shit!
What's a pirate's favorite music? Arrr & B.
"I had a profound psychological insight into my deepest insecurities after taking a rrrrrrhorshack test!"
What's a pirate's favorite El stop? Arrr-gyle.
You mean, like the Pittsburgh Pirates?
"Wow, do we suck! 16 straight losing seasons! We can't even muck up the Cubs these days!"
ALL YOUR MP3 ARE BELONG TO ME!
Well shiver me little timbers. If you people are not just the nicest bunch of people anybody could want to meet.
So nice and polite and well geez just so darn fantastic. Do you all shop at Macy's on a regular basis or have you all moved over to the on-line style of shopping?
Hmm well either way you all just look super great!
Oh sorry I thought you said butt pirate. ;-)
Urban Ethos [26]
What is Chicago's "urban ethos"?
Cool Glass of... [16]
What're you drinking?
Supreme Decision [22]
What's your reaction to the Supreme Court's decision on the Affordable Care Act?
Taking it to the Streets [20]
Chicago Street Fairs: Revolting or Awesome?
I Can Be Cruel [9]
Be real: what is the meanest thing you've ever done?
Greg / September 19, 2008 11:29 AM
Hey, man, DVDs right here. I got Choke, Tropic Thunder, Zack & Miri, you name it...