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Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Sunday, June 16

Gapers Block

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FVK Member / May 7, 2007 12:12 AM


Johnny / May 7, 2007 6:53 AM

Nothing...It is you people that have the problems.

jerry 101 / May 7, 2007 8:33 AM

I'm reading Gapers Block right now.

snuh / May 7, 2007 8:48 AM

if i knew, i wouldn't be blowing $240 on a shrink every month.

mary / May 7, 2007 8:50 AM

i cant tell exactly.. birthday blues? a job i dont fit into? lack of sleep?

i feel like a total jerk lately.

C-Note / May 7, 2007 8:54 AM

Got a headache. I don't usually get headaches. Probably been studying too hard. Also I've got a bit of a landlord-tenant situation going on that could come to a head pretty much whenever.

Stephen / May 7, 2007 9:04 AM

My wife has been out of town for the past six weeks on a business trip, and I'm starting to realize: A) how much less fun everything is without her, and B) that I'm terrible at buying groceries. The quality of my food intake has dropped dramatically since she left on her trip, and accordingly my weight has increased.

Mikey / May 7, 2007 9:05 AM

More often than I care to admit, I still drink too much when I go out, inevitably leading to forgotten evenings, dozing off at the bar or occasionally a need for apologies the next day. It's like I can't just go out, have a good time and recognize the need to go home when I'm sufficiently buzzed. As long as there's somewhere else to go that serves alcohol, I just keep on truckin'...

Other than that though, I'm in pretty good shape.

michelle / May 7, 2007 9:14 AM

i don't like my job and it's really been hard looking for a new one (i'm a teacher, and the market is horrible). it's making me depressed.

There's the run of the mill little things wrong with me, but nothing worth sweating over.

Mike K / May 7, 2007 9:31 AM

My right leg is about 3mm shorter than my left leg. You wouldn't notice unless you took a good look at me.

printdude / May 7, 2007 9:32 AM

Many, many things.

Leelah / May 7, 2007 9:43 AM

I have had a sore throat for a freakin' MONTH (since the Saturday before Easter). My doc said "viral laryngitis." My voice is back now, but I'm on a second round of antibiotics which has only succeeded in descreasing the pain, not eliminating it.

Perfect 10 / May 7, 2007 9:49 AM

Lack of fast-twitch muscles, inability to tan, a thoroughly paralyzing procrastination problem, and a fear of saber-toothed tigers.

Jeremy / May 7, 2007 9:49 AM

I've been stuck in my company's Tucson office for the past month. I'm missing spring in Chicago, and its killing me.

lisa / May 7, 2007 10:00 AM

i didn't want today to come, but i wasn't happy yesterday either.

my ex is breaking my heart...again.
i can't fix other peoples' problems.
i haven't eaten fruit or vegetables in a week.
i'm going out of town again.
i haven't smiled or had a laugh in a while.
i don't have the energy to let go or fix these things.

spook / May 7, 2007 10:01 AM

I’ve fallen into capitalists/materialists
rut,losing confidence in The Revolution while
spending too much dinero
having a “good time” i.e.
drinking and on trinkets & sh*t, instead of working harder to change this fu$king Corrupt
Bull Shi$ System!

I mean did any one read today’s NY Times article,
“Memo in 2003 Told of Inflated (Student) Loan Subsidies", juxtaposed with Yesterday’s story about how many poor students get screwed b/c of their loans!

Happy Mutha F*cking Monday!

p.s I promise to do better. Long live the Fidelistas!

Mike K / May 7, 2007 10:04 AM

My right leg is about 3mm shorter than my left leg. You wouldn't notice unless you took a good look at me.

Alison / May 7, 2007 10:46 AM

ALLERGIES are driving me crazy!

cellulite / May 7, 2007 11:05 AM

I'm addicted to coffee. I don't trust men. I ride my bike to work everyday and I am still overweight. I still don't know the best way to apply myself.

Steve / May 7, 2007 11:12 AM

The cantaloupe and honey dews I bought are kinda dry and flavorless.

And I need a haircut.

And I'm all kinds of tan, which has me worried that I'm gonna get all George Hamilton-y.

kiki / May 7, 2007 11:13 AM

i'm underpaid and underappreciated.

Mo / May 7, 2007 11:19 AM

Oh lord...

lactose intolerance
alcohol intolerance
obesity (but I love food, goddamn it!)
living far far away from my best friends
anxiety that I'm about to graduate with my masters and might still be stuck in the same job, and I spent all my savings on said degree
I haven't had a boyfriend in a REALLY REALLY long time. Probably for the reasons mentioned above.

bean-o / May 7, 2007 11:23 AM

All my goodest friends don't live in Chicago. Makes me sad that they're so far.

Waldo / May 7, 2007 11:24 AM

"I'm nervous and my socks are too loose."

Hal / May 7, 2007 11:25 AM

I'm just too goddamned self-absorbed, so I'm going to stay on my oh-so-important, must-be-completed-NOW cell phone conversation while I push my baby stroller across a busy intersection with one hand and vaguely look into space rather than keeping an eye on the cars zipping around me that oculd make a pancake out of my kid.

Oh, wait, that's what was wrong with yet another baby-bearing North Side mom this past weekend.

With me? Some rage issues, apparently.

bean-o / May 7, 2007 11:26 AM

All my goodest friends don't live in Chicago. Makes me sad that they're so far.
And my throat is pretty sore and raw this morning.
And that stupid CTA conductor this morning that took the wrong track and kicked us off the train is still pissing me off!

Jill / May 7, 2007 11:56 AM

mommy issues

(and the fact that I don't get enough sleep on any given night)

skafiend / May 7, 2007 11:59 AM

Absolutely nothing. I'm perfect. It's scary.

mike / May 7, 2007 11:59 AM

Deviated Septum, which causes minor insomnia in the winter.

Otherwise, I am who I wanted to be and will be who I need to be.

amyc / May 7, 2007 12:37 PM

Migraine, day 5. I hate my head sometimes.

I also hate my job.

lala / May 7, 2007 12:37 PM

i'm bloated.

peta / May 7, 2007 12:37 PM

My fixation on Charles Durning seems to be getting worse.

eep / May 7, 2007 12:49 PM

I can't stop sneezing. I think I'm allergic to my desk at work.

I have a big freelance project to do, but I'm a procrastinator and haven't done as much as I should. I suck.

Also, I'm going gray at an alarming rate lately.

michele / May 7, 2007 12:49 PM

Went to Florida this weekend and got a mess of no seem bug bites on my ankles, legs and arms. Red, itchy and they are for some weird reason, multiplying.
Super attractive.

Justin / May 7, 2007 12:49 PM

I'm misunderstood, but that's your problem. I'm doing great.

vit / May 7, 2007 1:16 PM

My refusal to acknowledge that if I don't stop drinking so much beer that I'll probably have a hard time losing those ten pounds I want to lose.

16-y.o. me / May 7, 2007 1:27 PM

Nothing, I said! Why don't you get off my back! YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD!

Bill V / May 7, 2007 1:48 PM

My right knee is killing me today (all of that dancing at the LCD Soundsystem show?). Besides that I'm quite happy.

K. / May 7, 2007 2:10 PM


Nicole / May 7, 2007 2:39 PM

I can't throw a frisbee! I can catch it just fine, but throwing it properly seems out of reach . . .

michellemybelle / May 7, 2007 2:54 PM

I'm surprised that this Fuel question hasn't caused the entirety of the internets to collapse.

That said, I'm always tired and I hate my job. I'm also having some hair issues today.

kate / May 7, 2007 2:54 PM

Michele - could be bed bugs. Often takes a couple days for the bites to show up. Call the hotel you stayed at and bitch like hell.

As far as me - I lack appropriate budgeting skills and I fear intimacy.

Emerson Dameron / May 7, 2007 3:09 PM

I can't whistle. I can't curl my tongue into a "U." I'm mildly narcissistic.

Noelle / May 7, 2007 3:10 PM

I'm tired of being an escort and phone sex opporator, but it's paying for school more easily/quickly than anything else.

My boyfriend's mom is dying and he's a wreck.

I'm bipolar and my meds make me tired all the time.

Anonymous / May 7, 2007 3:55 PM

I have a job. I have a wife. I have all my limbs that I use to get myself to work every morning. I can see, hear, taste, smell and speak.

There's nothing wrong with me, or my life, compared to about 50% of the people on this planet.

I am a lucky human!

G.P. / May 7, 2007 3:58 PM

I have an angry silence that literally scares people away, I don't know when I do this.

All my best friends are always high, and that's boring to me. But, I have trouble meeting new people.

jj / May 7, 2007 4:07 PM

Not much at all - I'm lucky.

Mindy / May 7, 2007 4:24 PM

Emerson: for a second I thought I may have posted without remembering. bizarre.

Julia / May 7, 2007 4:36 PM

I fall for the wrong guys.

skafiend / May 7, 2007 4:38 PM

Well, OK, I do have one problem. My body produces too much awesomeness. Seriously. I have a hyperactive awesomeness gland. Doctors can't do a thing about it because, well, it's too awesome.

vanessa / May 7, 2007 4:44 PM

Skafiend: I heart you right now.

As for myself:

Sometimes I'm lonely.
Kickball (!) starts this week and I may not be as good as I hope to be.
Other than that, I'm pretty freaking good.

Shouldn't the question be, what is GOOD with you?

skafiend / May 7, 2007 5:02 PM

Sometimes I'm lonely.

Yeah, I get lonely a lot too V, but you know what? All I have to do is sit there and think, "Wait a minute... I'm awesome!" and it passes. You can try it too!

Kickball (!) starts this week and I may not be as good as I hope to be.
Other than that, I'm pretty freaking good.

I'm a kickball expert so if you need tips, holla. I was drafted to play in a European kickball league when I was a kid but decided against it.

Robin / May 7, 2007 5:09 PM

sleep apnea, acid reflux, obesity, plmd (periodic limb movement disorder)

Oketo! / May 7, 2007 5:20 PM

I bring out the worst in people.

paul / May 7, 2007 5:38 PM

I shouldn't have eaten that second taco for lunch.

Stoner / May 7, 2007 5:38 PM

One of my testicles hangs a little lower than the other, but then I hear that's fairly common...

Geoff / May 7, 2007 6:07 PM

Head/chest congestion.
Bruised thigh & elbow.

Lou Pinella / May 7, 2007 6:22 PM

I have too many outfielders and not enough middle relief.

Plus these reporters won't shut up about it!

Some jerk taking pride in his work. / May 7, 2007 6:27 PM

Too much coffee, man.

Eczema. (sp?)

I'm a little undertall for my weight. Plus, I think old Garfield jokes are funny.

I am a little directionless about the next step in my career and worried about starting a family in the city if I can't afford to send them to a private school.

Generally, I'm feeling a little overcommitted and underaccomplished.

Plus, I'm sleepy.

Strangely enough, I feel sure that Tuesday will be better.

A Tom Collins glass , 3/4 full of ice. / May 7, 2007 6:30 PM

I need, but don't yet have, one part Pimm's No. 1 to 2 parts ginger ale, a wedge of cucumber and some crushed mint.

Please help me!

Another jerk / May 7, 2007 6:32 PM

I am too eager to please.

the pet / May 7, 2007 6:39 PM

I'm angry about stuff that happened years ago. But I didn't give myself a chance to be angry about it then - I just tried to forget. I chalked it up to wrong place/wrong time kind of thing.

But now I'm just letting this anger run it's course. And I've been sleeping better, my skin has cleared up some, and these nervous habits I've had for so long are subsiding.

My friends think I'm a little nuts, but they still love me.

leah / May 7, 2007 7:37 PM

my ears are crooked & sometimes I wear Spankx.

jennifer / May 7, 2007 8:14 PM

I get so worked up about failure that I am paralyzed and unable to write the damn papers. *good thing I'm starting cognitive behavior therapy soon.*

I live too far from my boyfriend. this is a good thing when we both are super busy and wouldn't see each other even if I did live in chi. this is a bad thing when I get really worked up over papers and I need a hug from him.

other than that, life is good. and after going to rwanda this summer, I'm sure my 'what's-wrong-with-me' meter will be recalibrated. I am very lucky.

Carlotta / May 7, 2007 10:54 PM

Too many big issues demanding that they get fixed NOW, e.g.

-- the next career
-- losing more weight
-- getting out of my Kafta-esque job
-- extricating myself out of my slum apartment
-- dealing with my mom's inexorable decline

The result: I'm mired, stuck, paralyzed -- whatever you want to call it.

ken / May 8, 2007 12:44 AM

Nothing - I'm moving to Naples, Florida in 9 days.......
unless you count that I haven't even started to pack and have no actual residence even close to lined up, oh yeah a little osteo in the ol' back but ha I say I'm moving back to Heaven's Waiting Room

charlie / May 8, 2007 8:14 AM

"I can't seem to face up to the fact"

c / May 8, 2007 8:15 AM

It's almost summer, and everyone starts being a little less productive and worry less about work and school and responsibilities, and i am quite excited to con my friends into going on ridiculous adventures.

I suppose my constant pursuit of happiness/fun is my problem.

Shasta MacNasty / May 8, 2007 8:22 AM

I'm still in love.

Rebecca / May 8, 2007 8:31 AM

i am awkward. he he

fluffy / May 8, 2007 9:45 AM

I'm painfully shy; I get depressed (not so much anymore); I daydream way too much; I don't work on my art anymore; I used to love coming to work, but I just can't take the backstabby-gossipy bullshit anymore, people tell me I care too much; I procrastinate; I don't take care of myself. I want to bring my cat to work and I want him to live forever.

Other than that, I rock.

I sound like a loser, but I'm only suppossed to tell you what's wrong with me. There are super-duper things about me you'll never know.

ken / May 8, 2007 9:51 AM

Fluffy - I'm with ya in that I don't work on my art anymore either, what's up with that?

moody / May 8, 2007 10:03 AM

stuck in a job i'm tired of (been at it for over 7 years)

i'm falling for a friend who happens to be a prick

dealing with a free loading mother with a martyr complex

can't stop frowning to save my life

carrie / May 8, 2007 10:18 AM

I'm a worry wart. I won't get into everything that I worry about, but it annoys me sometimes. I try to keep it to myself, but sometimes I just blurt something out that I've been worrying about and people think I'm a little nuts. Sometimes I say it's OCD.

Moody-- I don't know your situation, but I'm pretty sure I can relate to the free loading mom comment.

kate / May 8, 2007 10:21 AM

I moved this weekend - from the blue line to the brown line. From Logan to Roscoe. From the train that gets me to and fro all my haunts, dives and hangouts to the 'nilla line.

I knew I loved the blue line but I had no idea I'd feel such loss when I was no longer living near it.

It's freakin' me out, man.

bep / May 8, 2007 10:27 AM

(This is my favorite question ever!!! So I will participate and not just peep at y'all)

Me? I'm either obsessed with how much I'm like my mother (miserable and bitter inside/ charming and highly functional outside),no matter how hard I've tried not to be and how, at 48, I really can't blame her for my misery. Or I'm obesessed at how none of the above would have been an issue if I'd only had the self-awareness to realize that motherhood would knock me flat, suck me dry (there have been many "complications")and leave me in my current, frustrated state. But then, I know that I'd've been miserable anyway, if I'd decided to forego parenthood, b/c I wouldn't have all this--too much!!--knowledge of what can go wrong.
Other than that, I love my husband, my kids, my house, my neighborhood, my friends, and I have great plans and hope for the future.

Brandy / May 8, 2007 10:30 AM

Very little. I'm overweight and I use my hands too much. Nothing some regular exercise wouldn't solve.

Sabrosa / May 8, 2007 11:07 AM

Nothing. What's wrong with you?

Mad Jack Deacon / May 8, 2007 11:10 AM

I take on too much, and take it too personally. Gas costs $3.55 locally and is rising. I'm selfish and want my own time and room, but I want the relationship too, so she better be able to deal with it. The president is a moron, surrounded by selfish bastards like me. I need to lose 30 pounds, and start exercising. My back, tailbone, and legs ache. I feel that I'm living beneath the Sword of Damocles. Global warming is or isn't real. I drank the water. The internet is stealing my thoughts. I think I have scabies and a flaky scalp. Apathy is growing. I have to walk uphill both ways in the snow to get to work. I don't have medical coverage.

Life is good!

Girl Behind The Counter w/A Tattoo Tear / May 8, 2007 11:46 AM

There's nothin' wrong with me a hundred dollars won't fix.

Kevin / May 8, 2007 1:34 PM

I'm consumed with apathy.

steven / May 8, 2007 3:51 PM

I'm consumed with the self-nagging that my wife and I need to own a place instead of continuing to rent. I can't let it go. Even though there's no WAY its going to happen anytime soon. And I'm 35 so I think I'm comparing my life up against the imaginary clock of how life should go, instead of simply worrying about my own timeline. It's a constant worry and it needs to go away.

Allan / May 8, 2007 4:16 PM

Problem #1
I don't have a job

Problem #2
Finding ladies who aren't intimidated by my king size ding dong.

Problem #3
I am not fat anymore but I still feel like a fat person in a skinny body.

MT / May 8, 2007 4:18 PM

I'm in love with someone who lives half way across the country.

Lunch Guy / May 8, 2007 4:52 PM

Nothing. I went to Eppy's Deli for lunch today and I'm feelin' fine! If you're in the Streeterville hood I highly recommend checking it out.

winedrinkin' / May 8, 2007 6:58 PM

I left Chicago and now I miss it terribly. Yet another decision made that turned out to be bad. Why did I think we should leave? I wish we hadn't.

I got a job that I should probably be really happy about and yet all I can think about is leaving it because it's just not really me. I'm not passionate about it. I'm too old to start over, probably. Maybe. Will I ever find the perfect job for me?

I need to have a baby soon if I'm going to. I worry all the time, and I cry. My tooth hurts from this stupid root canal. Several of my other teeth are screwed, too. I have a giant pile of clothes that need ironing. I feel fat today. I worry that people don't like me.

Oh, and there's the "we need to own rather than rent by now" worry, like steven, above.

And, worst, I'm a very fortunate person, and I know this.

mitzi / May 8, 2007 7:01 PM

I am personally offended by people whose biggest problem is the ripeness of their fruit or their inability to tan. I might dwell on it for hours.

a / May 8, 2007 9:16 PM

i burned the roof of my mouth with pizza today.
i'm waaaay too nostalgic watching wonder years reruns.
i have an overwhelming fear of transportation accidents.
i'm not married. and there's something wrong with me because i think there's something wrong with me because i'm not married.
there's over a month left of school and i am pretty much done with teaching for the year.

Olive and Balsamic / May 8, 2007 11:07 PM

I am lonely, especially come home late studying at the library.
The boys don't like me
The one boy that does - disgusts me
I am overweight by 10-15 pounds and other than restricting my intake, haven't done much about it, and the extra paunch is not going anywhere. What's depressing is that only a few years ago, this extra weight would have been gone by now, with the same amount of effort.
I am 28 tomorrow, but I am not married. I can't believe my 20s is almost over. Feels surreal.

S / May 8, 2007 11:56 PM

olive and balsamic: everything gets better at 30. really. i'm 38 and being married is not all that. i'm really looking forward to 40, actually. maybe that is what is wrong me.

i always want what is next, not what i have right now.

but right now isn't too bad. except my grandma is dying and i can't help my sister who is taking care of her (long story).

Mikey / May 9, 2007 8:22 AM

Olive and Balsamic -

I too would agree that the thirties are infinitely better than the twenties...

I'm 37 and only just recently (finally?) purchased my first home and (knock on wood) found the woman I hope to marry. Just hang in there...

moody / May 9, 2007 9:05 AM

Hey Olive and Balsamic-

You're 28 and single…so what! It's ok! And the boys that don't "like" you are not worth the trouble anyways.

I'm 29 and single and it's not the end of the world.

Hey, you single ladies out there-- lend this YOUNG lady some support…

Anonymous Man / May 9, 2007 9:12 AM

I've been in love with another man for about 20 years now. We never connected due to miscues on both our parts in the past and now we're both married. Dammit.

steven / May 9, 2007 10:41 AM


Like the others say, 30's are better than 20's. Sure, you still have worries and preoccupations and things don't miraculously get better overnight, but I've found that I'm more at ease and comfortable with myself. Hopefully you can find that comfort as well.


Purchased a home? Congrats. There's hope for me yet.

ken / May 9, 2007 11:03 AM

8 days and counting till I'm

.......still not prepared, even in the slightest

Neil Sreshta / May 17, 2007 3:24 PM

I have toe-thumbs

that girl / June 3, 2007 3:27 AM

I live in what is supposedly one of the most beautiful places in the world and I'm leaving it in 8 weeks because I can't take it anymore.
I can't walk into a room with a piano without playing.
Every time I visit the doctor the find a new illness.
I'm only young ...

Enny / June 14, 2007 7:05 PM

I am turning 40 this year, i dislike country i live in (Porugal), my job at uni is not satisfactory, i have no boyfriend for one year! My father has died 4 months ago and my mom is depressed, my child is living in another city due to school... i have no real friends and have no motivation to work.....I live in a rented house, surrounded by land-lord's furniture, i never do what i like and used to do, like dancing, theatre, for example....all i do is missing my family and friends, who are all elsewhere. i dislike the food, and customs of the place and most people behave strange, in my opinion...

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