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Fuel

Andrew / May 9, 2007 10:44 AM

Question suggested by Mary S.
(If you've got a suggestion for a Fuel thread, email it to inbox@gapersblock.com.)

mary / May 9, 2007 10:57 AM

i should probably answer my own question... thanks for posting :)

i have written that I know italian on my resume and my interviewer (would-be boss) asked me in italian "you know italian?" i responded in french. i turned red in the face and had to explain i only spent a semester in italy, while ive taken something like 8 years of french.

still waiting to hear back from them, but seeing as its been like over a month, i think i can safely say i didnt get it.

ken / May 9, 2007 11:17 AM

In college, for a horticulture research company, went in completely stoned, I mean seriously blazed up, cottonmouth, red-eyes and all not to mention I reeked like a giant doobie....

as it was the interview turned into a taste test session amongst two connoisseurs of fine hydroponics - you know tomatoes

got the offer but I didn't take it, I probably should have though

skafiend / May 9, 2007 11:18 AM

Didn't know how to add and subtract. I was applying for a job as a cashier at some low-rent fast food joint and the guy interviewing me was asking me about making change for this and that and this. I'm lousy at math and I panic when I have to do math on the spot without paper or pencil and I answered every question wrong.

Still waiting to hear back from them but seeing as how it's been like over 22 years, I think i can safely say I didn't get it.

Steve / May 9, 2007 11:19 AM

It was 1990, and all I could talk about was the cicadas. The invasion has begun, at least in my backyard!

mike / May 9, 2007 11:21 AM

I pooped on the interviewer's desk.

Apparently, that's not de rigeur.

Mikey / May 9, 2007 11:25 AM

Despite completely sucking at interviewing, I have no amusing anecdotes of my own to tell...

I still chuckle, however, when I think back to an interview my friend went on years ago. After a particularly challenging question, my friend (who is by no means the sharpest tool in the shed) responded, "I think I'll punt."

Dan R / May 9, 2007 11:27 AM

I said the word "porno" in an interview.

Yes, I did get the job. I'm writing this from their offices right now.

No seriously, I did.

Mark / May 9, 2007 11:32 AM

When asked what kind of 'personality' I could bring to the table, I thought for a second, looked her straight in the eye, and said, completely straightfaced, "I'm very funny."

She didn't see the humor in announcing something like that. The pause that followed was long and awkward.

I didn't get the job.

Emerson Dameron / May 9, 2007 11:38 AM

Suicide joke.

They did offer me a job, but I'd already assumed they wouldn't and taken another job elsewhere.

I *really* wanted to work there, too.

So, don't assume. And always punch up your interviews with suicide jokes.

loadzone / May 9, 2007 11:39 AM

I was gunning for a job after college and scheduled an interview through the university.

(Un)fortunately, I had too much whiskey the night before and struggled to get out of bed. I was told that blowing off interviews was a very bad thing to do, so I decied to show up regardless of my mental/physical state.

The look of horror on the guy's face was priceless. I could still taste the whiskey, so I probably smelled like I crawled out of a bottle.

He tried to find his office on a chicagoland map and it took him a few awkward moments. I knew I was toast, so I spent the next fifteen minutes picking his brain on the post 9/11 chicagoland economy and why there wasn't a third major airport here. He did his best to humor me.

Still waiting on that call...

charlie / May 9, 2007 11:45 AM

Can't recall anything I did, but I have interviewed and hired a number of people. Can't recall the exact exchange but this guy said "that's just fucking stupid" in agreement with my decleration about other peoples hiring practices. (our competition in the industry)

I hired him.

Bethernet / May 9, 2007 12:12 PM

I locked the keys in my car. I was so upset that the interviewer called her father to come over and unlock it for me.

I didn't get the job.

Jill / May 9, 2007 12:20 PM

Blurting out that yes, I really did want to learn how to file.
Oh, it was loose-leaf, specialized type filing that for a couple of minutes looked really cool to a recent college grad desperate for a job.

Got the job and it propelled me down a path of general career suckitude in that I don't really like what I do for a living and doing what I want to is just taking a long time.

Nervous Pervis / May 9, 2007 12:34 PM

Interviewing for a square number-crunching job, was asked to describe my qualities.

Went off on a tangent on how "creative" I was because I like to morph pictures that I cut out from magazines.

Then I continued on how I couldn't wait to leave the country for Brazil once I save up some $.

Got bonged.

amyc / May 9, 2007 1:02 PM

Just after graduating, I still listed my college affiliations on my resume (campus environment organization, campus women's group, etc.). I interviewed for a low-level proofreading position, and the interviewer asked me, "So, Women's Equity Coalition, huh? Did you march around and burn crosses and stuff?" To which I icily replied, "No, that's the Klan. I was not in the Klan." After several moments of uncomfortable silence, we sort of went through the motions of the rest of the interview, but we both knew it was pointless.

Another time I interviewed with an HR person who only spoke corporate-ese. She told me they were looking for someone who could "look at the job description and take it to the next level." I just stared blankly at her, because what does that even mean? I couldn't even bullshit my way through a response, so I just said, "Uh, OK." Didn't get that job either.

Jeremy / May 9, 2007 1:40 PM

My last name is similar to a beer brewed from Rocky Mountain water. The interviewer's last name was Miller. I tried to break the ice with a joke about how hard it was growing up with a beer name, and apparently it struck him a little too closely. Didn't get that job...

skafiend / May 9, 2007 1:43 PM

...and I remember going to an interview for an Andy Frain job (!) about a million years ago. There were about 10 people in this room waiting to get interviewed. They would call in the next person and everyone would move down a seat. I was staring off into space but my friend who was there too nudged me and tried to get me to look at something but I couldn't figure out what he was motioning too. Turns out an old guy had gotten up to take his turn in the interview room but left his wallet on the chair. the girl in the next chair moved over and deftly slipped his wallet onto her person somewhere. I missed it but a few other people saw it but nobody apparently said anything when the old guy came out and was looking around for his wallet. I just thought it was strangely funny that someone going for a security job would swipe something from the potential employer before they even got the job, and that other potential security people kept their mouths shut.

Sarah / May 9, 2007 2:10 PM

For an internship at the Henson company:

"Why are you here?"

"Um, I really like Muppets."

Not my most brilliant moment, but I got the job.

redhead mafia / May 9, 2007 2:41 PM

I prepped for the interview by reading up on the company (normal) and the key personnel (might be of some help in pre-game), some of whom were going to be in my interview.

It was not going well already (awkward, few-if-any relevant skills for the position, obvious stench of desperation) when I tried to turn it around by referencing a detail I remembered (incorrectly) from one of the interviews (who I called by the wrong name).

Suffice to say, they were nonplussed. Much less unimpressed. I didn't get a call back.
:(

spook / May 9, 2007 3:12 PM

Freshmen year, I interviewed with this church woman type for a work study filing position in accounts payable. I wanted less work/ lots of study. In Church Lady’s cubical was radio tuned to a station that kept advertising “strong, strong, strong songs”, in-between the religious R&B bull sh*t it played.

She went on and on about d teaching me a good Christian work ethic. Finally she asked if I had any questions before I started. I said I hoped the “strong strong strong songs” wouldn't be the office theme when there was all this cool east cost hip hop that I was dieing to take advantage of!
When I didn’t get the job, I landed a “position” at the university gym. I totally lucked out, yo.

Yea, as the only none jock worker, I had to pull Saturday morning duty, but as the only person there for at least four hours, I boosted booze form the Alumni Lounge and always rocked the latest Nikes and Adidas curiosity of the athletic department. I just new not to wear them to work.

I was also able to sleep away Friday night hangovers in total darkness inside a huge laundry cart filled with super warm tiles fresh out the industrial dryer. I felt like I was back in the womb!

And there was this one chick from West Philly, Gayle Huggins. What she was doing on the Lacrosse team, I do not know, but she was fione, yo! It was an honor to wash and dry her uniform.

KJ / May 9, 2007 3:33 PM

Was grilled by three people for low-level technical writing position at a University in a stressful Star Chamber-like interview that lasted several hours. Was given exacting writing and editing test. When graded, was asked by most unpleasant of the interviewers, "How do you explain your performance on this test?" implying that I had done badly. Was allowed to struggle along under this assumption for a while, and then was told that they actually thought I had done really well. Ho, ho, ho, how jolly! (Was 26 and did not have enough presence of mind to push back on this kind of mind game at the time.) Was told later I did not get the job because I "didn't seem enthusiastic."

When, a few years later, I became a hiring manager, I resolved never, ever to treat anybody in that manner.

annie / May 9, 2007 4:05 PM

A few years ago I had an interview and the interviewer was from Bangladesh and I had a hard time understanding him. He asked me if I thought the Sony corporation was a success but I heard sexist and we went back and forth several times b/c I answered, "how would I know that? Is that common knowledge?" We finally figured out the language barrier. Didn't get the job and that's just fine by me.

Allan / May 9, 2007 4:12 PM

When I was in high school I got a summer job at a pickling plant in my home town. My mistake was going in for the interview. They were all sad older men who worked there and the way my interview went should have been fair warning for me to leave and never come back. During the interview (if you can call it that) the plant foremen and the floor manager both sat in. The first question they asked me was if I liked pickles. I did like pickles, so said as much. They then proceeded to ask me if I liked fat juicy pickles because they had some fat ones they wouldn't mind sharing with me. I grew suspicious. The next set of questions had to do with where I would put a fat juicy pickle if they gave one to me and when I had first learned I liked pickles and if my parent knew. You get the idea. I just that there silent, humiliated. I wanted to punch them in their fat grinning faces. After that the foreman said I could start the following day with all the free pickles I could handle. When i left the shack in the middle of the warehouse that served as an office I learned that the entire ordeal was broadcast over the plant speakers. As I walked out the all the men on the floor were looking at me, some laughing, some shaking their heads and a one fat greasy man with a pickled sticking out of the fly of his stained trousers chuckling hard I started work the next day.

jj / May 9, 2007 4:20 PM

I don't think I've ever made any huge gaffes, but I have seen a lot of them being in charge of the internship program. Some favorites -
Addressing a cover letter "Dear Sir" (when my name, present in my email address, is very obviously a female name)

being thirty minutes late, with no apology or excuse (make up something, for god's sake!)

stinking of alcohol (you didn't shower at least?)

working for our major competitor with no plans to quit if they get the job with us (seriously, how would that even work out?)

telling me that I'll never find any quality interns because my company only offers unpaid internships (I was an unpaid intern here before I got my job, thanks a lot!)

Hal / May 9, 2007 4:33 PM

When applying for a Manager position at Macy's, I was asked, "Why do you want to work here?" As the real reason was that I just wanted to pay my rent, I went for the (very un-)funny and said, "Because I like to shop?" No, I didn't get it.

As a hiring manager, I was asked by a candidate, "How long would it be before I had your job?" (Hint to interviewees: The correct question is "What is the career track with this position?" or something). I was so freaking desparate for marginally intellegent staff, I marked him for a callback/second round anyway.

So the following Saturday was Market Days. I'm walking with a friend down Halsted and run into the candidate. He is drunk off his ass and in his extremely small underwear.

Let me repeat, in his extremely small underwear.

He runs up, yells, "Hal, how are you!?!?" and hugs and kisses me. Did I mention that he was in his underwear.

Thank God I was already out as gay to my boss and HR. Because it was awkward enough explaining to them why we had to cancel that second interview. How the guy dressed at Market Days was his own business, but initiating physical contact like that while almost naked crosses a line.

The wierd thing is the number of gay men to whom I've told the story that have told me that I was just too uptight.

Hal / May 9, 2007 4:37 PM

Oh, irony, I love you:
desparate -> desperate
and
intellegent -> intelligent

emyduck / May 9, 2007 4:49 PM

i called a girlfriend right afterward the interview and stood outside the nearest el station to the office telling her about the terribly awful sweater suit my interviewer was wearing, just as one of the partners of the company (who i also interviewed with) walked by. i did not get the job, thank god.

Carrie / May 9, 2007 4:50 PM

Well, it wasn't my fault (honestly it wasn't) but when I interviewed for my old job (same company) I was given a math test. Things would've been fine had they given me oh say a pen and paper or something. I was struggling to do (358*99)/50+154 in my head. I walked out feeling so low.

Thankfully I was interviewing with my sister's friend and she called and told Sister "hey um, HR won't let us hire Carrie b/c she did so poorly on the math test". I looked at Sister and was like "it's a collections job! Do they want a Harvard graduate for it? Good for smarty pants who can do hard math in their head". We then realized that HR screwed up and failed to provide me with the proper math doing supplies. I came back in and did much much better and got the job.

Different topic, kinda- when interviewing, don't slouch and act like you have the job. Please just don't. At least not if you interview with me. Slouching=uninterested and cocky. Also, always have a good handshake. Dead fish is the worst first impression.

Leelah / May 9, 2007 7:07 PM

I was nearly an hour late for an interview when I was trying to get my first teacher job. It was on the far south side, so traffic got me, and then I couldn't figure out how to get into the school. There were two gates which led up a tremendous driveway. The open gate was the one labeled exit. I didn't want to drive up the wrong one and look like an idiot.

This was in the days before the ubiquity of cell phones, so I ended up on the payphone at the ghetto Walgreens (111th and Michigan, if anyone is interested in visiting it). They told me to go through the exit gate. Convinced that since I had broken the cardinal rule of interviewing, I knew I wouldn't get the job, so I didn't really care to put on the usual show. I was more like my normal self than in any of my other interviews, and I got the job. I stayed there 8 years.

Brandy / May 9, 2007 8:01 PM

I had an in-person interview for a project (vs. a FT job) with 2 women from the suburbs. I had done a project with them virtually and did a great job. One of them looked over, saw the small 1" anti-Bush button on my bag. She grimaced in a way that let me know I wouldn't hear back from them.

I didn't.

I am 110% fine with that.

Andre / May 9, 2007 9:22 PM

I interviewed for a job and mentioned that I knew a specific type of management system, which I did. I just could not remember the names of the four points of that program when asked for them.

I felt really stupid when the interviewer had to tell me what they were. But I ended up getting the job and working for him for nearly three years.

Lori / May 9, 2007 10:00 PM

no brainer. When I was in college I interviewed for a job at the evil Shoe Carnival that was opening up in town. It was summer and really freaking hot out and I had to put on a skirt and hose and nice shoes for the interview.

but it was soooo hot and I was just such a hippy slacker that I couldn't deal with the idea of wearing those panty hose. So I took two pair and pulled one up one leg, and one up the other and then sort of tied the extra legs to keep them hidden.

I went to the stupid interview and When it was over, I stood up to shake the slimy bastard's hand and sure enough, there were those two extra legs, dangling out of my skirt, with the whole affair sliding south.

I got the job, and spent the next month loading boxes of shoes into the not yet opened store. I quit soon after the store opened.

Mikey / May 10, 2007 12:27 AM

OK, so this isn't so much about the interview as the actual job...

In a fit of misguided sobriety, I decided to be responsible for once and take on a tele-marketing (fund-raising) job whilst still in college. I was given the whole spiel about not letting the potential donor off the phone until I received the requisite three denials. The project entailed soliciting donations for some Illinois State Police charity (which to this day, I remain convinced was a scam)...

On my first day, I wasn't all that motivated to begin with, when I called a nice-enough blue collar guy with a Chicago accent who explained that it all sounded good, but as he had been recently layed off, he was still trying to figure out how to come up with the next month's mortgage. That was more than enough reason for me to say 'thank you and good luck', but at that moment, the hard-ass, cheezy-mustachioed manager approached me with the three-way-phone-listening-device-thingy and gave me the evil look that said, "This call is far from over..."

So quite reluctantly, I continued with the scripted response tailored specifically for people who gave that sort of objection, when the guy lost all patience and retorted, "Hey, buddy! Buddy!!? Did you fucking hear me?! I lost my fucking job!!"...

I went straight home that night and drank a lot of beer and smoked a lot of pot and knew that that was my first and last day of college employment. And that would also explain why 15 years later, I'm still muddled in thousands of dollars of student loans...

jerry 101 / May 10, 2007 8:24 AM

Interviewing in college for my first real-world job. You weren't supposed to miss interviews under any circumstance short of a coma. So, I dragged my ass to an interview. I had the flu. It was a short interview due to my sneezing, coughing, nose blowing, and being about ready to pass out. Needless to say, I didn't get the job.

fluffy / May 10, 2007 9:22 AM

uptight office downtown- in between interviews, when asked if they could get me something to drink, i asked for a very dry gin martini. i got the job.

eep / May 10, 2007 10:06 AM

Not necessarily a mistake, but at my first interview with Company X, I had two men in the meeting with me. They told me to follow up in two weeks to set up another interview. When I called back, I asked for Guy A, and was informed that he had quit. So I asked for Guy B, only to be told that he had quit as well. I should have taken that as a sign.

That said, they paid me really well for the two years I was there. You know, before they caught on that they had hired me to do practically nothing and put me on "double secret probation." Yes, really.

Bill V / May 10, 2007 10:06 AM

Considering I have not interviewed for a job in 19 years, I do remember having my zipper down once. Besides that, just plain being hung-over didn't help things either.

Sol / May 10, 2007 10:34 AM

I've nearly fallen asleep in a couple of interviews - it's some sort of interview-related narcolepsy, I swear. I can chug 8 cokes right before, but ask me where I see myself in 5 years and I slip into a coma.

Hooky / May 10, 2007 10:48 AM

A favorite story from an a friend: was thoroughly flustered when the interviewor innocuously revealed their prosthetic hook-hand mid interview. Imagine those wandering eyes did not help at all.

Horace / May 10, 2007 12:22 PM

I am asked the question "How many piano tuners would you guess are in Chicago?" as a way to gauge my logic, reason, and estimation abilities.


How uninspired, this forced 'creativity' by my interviewer. I decided to teach him a lesson in real creativity.

I told him there are exactly 27. He says how do I know? I tell him I tune pianos in my spare time, and am part of the piano tuner's union in Chicago, and when we have our union meeting once a month, 26 other guys show up.

He was floored - Really? Do you like tuning pianos? How long have you been doing it? Wow this is so amazing....

Andrew / May 10, 2007 1:28 PM

One of my first job interviews post-college, with a small ad agency. I wore the only suit I had, a very nice pin-striped number handed down to me by a Wall Street trader uncle. I was so overdressed as to be ridiculous -- the owner was in jeans and a blouse. She complemented me on the suit as I left, and I never heard from her again.

Leah / May 10, 2007 2:00 PM

In the world of college and university housing, candidates get a job by spending a weekend at UW OshKosh. All of the hiring colleges come and all of the candidates come. The interviews take place in a high rise dorm and you run from room to room having interviews.

Totally normal interviews where you sit on beds cause you're in a dorm room.

I scheduled 18-25 interviews over the course of 2 days. 30 minute interviews on the hour with 30 minute breaks to allow for elevator time.

One college I went to the wrong floor to wait, then got to the right floor, went into the interview and when he said, "Why does College X appeal to you?"

I just stared at him. I completely blanked on where the school was, what they had to offer, everything I'd learned. I completely forgot.

I did not get hired there.

sparky / May 10, 2007 3:21 PM

Leah: I totally remember going to UWO and spending the day there interviewing. After 20 interviews, I could no longer recall who I was interviewing for. Despite the fact that their college flag was hanging in the dorm room, I had no idea that I was interviewing for University of Oklahoma. I remember interviewing with a Luthern school and they asked me about my beliefs in God. I told them. Judging by the looks on their faces, I think they wanted someone a tad more religious than me. I was not surprised that I didn't hear back.

Opido / May 10, 2007 5:05 PM

I am horrible at interviews but here are two I screwed up that are short enough to post here:

-In college I had applied for a teller position at a major bank. I got a call from an HR person for a phone interview. She asked if this was a good time for us to talk. I said no because I am about to walk in to class can I call you back tomorrow.
Silence on the phone. She says Are you serious? I said yes and she told me to call her back tomorrow. She never returned my call.

-another time for another teller job I wore a Jerry Garcia designed tie. The interview went well until she asked about my interesting tie because she might want to buy it for her boyfriend. I told her.
She paused. "Are you a grateful dead fan?" I said "actually I am not. I just think the ties are cool" (this is the truth)
She asks" have you ever been to a dead show?" I said"no" (again truth)
She told me that there is mandatory drug testing for this position. I said "Ok" in a kind of confused and then she ended the interview rather abruptly.
I never got a call for that one either.

fluffy / May 10, 2007 6:09 PM

this isn't a mistake, but once i told the lady interviewing me that i loved her RED LEATHER suit (and she was a 50-something year old lady trying to be hip, and having an affair with the president of the company). I did get the job but I never had any respect for her.

One time, I was working at a luby's cafeteria in texas, and I h-a-t-e-d that job. The only people that came in where angry old racist geezers who complained about everything to me. yeah, like i cooked the crap. i just served bread. so one day, this pimped out skinny white guy comes in and he's got his tray ready and he's got a lady (white trash ho) with him wearing super tight gold shorts and high heels and a tube top. he starts talking to me about working for him and all i had to do was cruise with him in his limo. i was only 16, but not stupid or naive. i looked at him, took a corn muffin and let it plop into his glass of ice tea and I walked away.

fluffy / May 10, 2007 6:11 PM

correction:
the pimp dude wasn't white. he was African-American. hecalled me his 'lil' momma'.
ugh.
no one gets paid $100/hr just to ride in a limo.

haizel / May 10, 2007 7:10 PM

I was interviewing for a job with 3 supervisors sitting across a table facing me. It was intense but was going well. Finally they sat back, relaxed, and one of them said, "ok, now we turn the tables and you can ask us anything you like."

I completely froze realizing I hadn't done my research properly and wasn't prepared to ask a question (was in college, therefore dumb). Before too much time lapsed I quickly thought I'll ask about the hiring process, and said aloud, "I have a question, but it's just a procedural one..."

One of the interviewers soothingly replied, "Any question is appropriate at this time."

And before I could think twice about it, I said, "Well, in that case, what's the fastest land animal?"

silence.

I left the interview cursing myself that I blew it (although kinda laughing too). But I got the job.

paul / May 11, 2007 1:47 AM

I've been to a few interviews where I realized i didn't want the job by the time the HR hack asked me "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" More than once I honestly answered, "Somewhere else". I think I even got a callback after one of those.

I always anticipate trouble trying to pronounce "specificity" during job interviews involving CSS, but who doesn't?

I spent a few years managing a telemarketing office, interviewing and firing up to a dozen people every week. I've got a book of interview stories from the other side of the desk. My boss taught me I should always hire the ones who came in hungover. He figured they had more motivation than the typical employee.

fluffy / May 11, 2007 9:29 AM

my armpits smell like dry catfood today. i just noticed.

Mad Jack Deacon / May 11, 2007 10:44 AM

Not so much a hiring incident, rather than a firing incident. I was working for a telemarketing company setting up appointments for vinyl siding. Quite possibly the worst job ever. No one is ever happy to hear from you.

I did okay for about a month, but slowly started to realize that all the women there were either Grandmotherly or Super Hot. And all the other men there (2. The manager and Bob) were pervs. I lost count of the massages I watched Bob and the manager try to give. As well as the fact that every conversation turned to sex. Creepy bastards...

I finally went in and told the manager that I couldn't justify working there any longer, took my last pay check and walked out. When I opened the envelope there was a pink slip in it. I just laughed as I drove away...

John / May 11, 2007 4:16 PM

I imagine a bunch of Phd. prankster consultants sitting around getting wasted while thinking up inane questions that they then will sell to businesses for the purpose of screening employees.

I was asked such a question several years ago. The question was, "Life is not fair? How do you handle situations in which you think that you have not been treated fairly?"

I am well beyond becoming an adult, and I was surprised by the...stupid ass question.

So I answered, "You mean like when I am at the grocery store, and I have been waitinng in line forever, and then the lady in front of me whips out a hundered coupons, and just when I get all my stuff on the counter, they finally open up the next lane?"

The lady who was doing the interview looked at me with a stone face. I then advised her that I was joking.

Then I said something like "fairness" is a philosophical concept, not natural law blah blah blah.

I did not get the job.

John: correction / May 11, 2007 4:20 PM

The question was, "Life is sometimes unfair, so how do you handle situations in which you think that you have not been treated fairly?"

yoyobates / May 11, 2007 4:25 PM

usually, i'll bring a liter of water with me to keep the mouth liquacious during the Q&A. But one time i decided to chew on a Power Bar during the interview as well. Not sure what I was thinking. But damn I was hungry after the interviewer had kept me waiting two hours in the lobby. Didn't get the job. Power breakfast before the interview is the way to go. Save the Power Bars for a marathon.

skafiend / May 11, 2007 4:32 PM

I was applying for the job of a filing guy at a downtown lawfirm and the interview consisted of 19-year-old me and about seven lawyers around a big table.

FOR A FREAKING FILING JOB!!!!

but I got it anyway...

amy / May 11, 2007 4:34 PM

Fluffy you are cracking me up today. Thanks for the laugh.

Cinnamon / May 11, 2007 6:28 PM

I was interviewing to be a personal assistant to a mid-level local jazz musician. (I was new to Chicago and desperate to stop temping after I'd had someone throw disks at my head and yell at me for making the coffee too weak.) The guy's wife was doing the interviewing and she asked me "It says on your resume that you have a minor in women's studies. Does that mean you have political objections to making coffee?" I replied, "Not political objections, but since I don't drink coffee, I should warn you that my last boss yelled at me every day for a week cause I made it wrong."

She looked at me funny and then asked me how I felt about helping him pick out presents for her. I was shocked and realizing that I wasn't interested in the job and replied, "How do you feel about me picking out presents for you?" I didn't get the job. I was glad.

jen / May 11, 2007 6:53 PM

during an interview, i asked my boss' boss how the atmosphere/environment was, y'know, to get some perspective. his retort, "well, we all sit in cubicles."

i laughed it off (did he not understand my question?), but now i realize i should have taken that as a sign not to take the job.

my last day is next week.

Mad Jack Deacon / May 12, 2007 11:37 AM

Hey yoyobates, I'm totally stealing your word "liquacious". It sounds so liquidy smooth, and verbally slick without a residue or stain.

Kelsy / May 22, 2007 2:52 AM

It's loquacious. Spread the good spelling!

Elizabeth / August 2, 2007 4:33 PM

I got dizzy, puked several times, and had to be wheeled out on a stretcher. Diagnosis: vertigo.

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What is Chicago's "urban ethos"?

Cool Glass of... [16]
What're you drinking?

Supreme Decision [22]
What's your reaction to the Supreme Court's decision on the Affordable Care Act?

Taking it to the Streets [20]
Chicago Street Fairs: Revolting or Awesome?

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Be real: what is the meanest thing you've ever done?

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