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Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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Tuesday, March 5

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Ramsin / December 13, 2010 12:04 AM

I've quite literally got a hundred of these. Here's one of my favorites: your mom is so old, her prom theme was Feudalism.

Andrew Huff / December 13, 2010 12:09 AM

This post is in fact in honor of the fact that Ramsin recently wrote -- and performed live -- a hundred yo mama jokes. Do not challenge this man.

Andrew / December 13, 2010 10:57 AM

yo mama is so dumb and cheap, when yo daddy told her to break out the fancy silver for dinner, she put nickels next to the plates.

It's, uh, a work in progress.

r / December 13, 2010 11:21 AM

Yo dad is so fat that when he goes to a concert, the band skips when he dances

(it's really hard to write these and not offend anyone)

printdude / December 13, 2010 11:30 AM

Your mama is so thin, she can hang glide from a Dorito.

Spook / December 13, 2010 11:48 AM

man, Ramsin's Momz be
soooo stupid, I be seeing her all the time sitting on the ground outside The Met- during rush hour- holding a raggedy card board sign that says "Will eat for food!" And wondering why people be snickering at her!

Ramsin / December 13, 2010 1:13 PM

That reminds me, Spook's mom is so flat chested Laura Ingalls Wilder built a little house on her.

r-anybody offended by a mom joke probably doesn't think anything is funny. they're jokes.

Spook / December 13, 2010 2:22 PM

Well, what about, ya Mammy??!!

She be soooo broke,her bottom lip be sooo big, and she be sooo stooopid that a Kangaroo with year old sextuplets hired her out to babby sit, but her lip be in two time zones, yet she wondering why she be running late!!

Ramsin / December 13, 2010 3:32 PM


Yeah, but what about your mom? She's so tall she was a gift from France.

Jason / December 13, 2010 3:52 PM

Yo Mama's so stupid, she saw a sign that read "Vote Daley in 2007" and she showed up at the polls every day.

jima / December 13, 2010 4:00 PM

Your momma's so old, her birth certificate is in hieroglyphics.

Ramsin / December 13, 2010 4:22 PM

Your mom is so old she took her first Spring Break in Pangea.

Spook / December 13, 2010 5:36 PM

Yo man, I heard Ramsin's Momzo's head be so empty and be so BIG!!!!! That like, ten or eleven circus clowns, who can't afford a car paid her, to let them, climb out her left ear yo!!!!!

Spook / December 13, 2010 5:39 PM


Author! Author, you best come real or not come at all

Ramsin / December 13, 2010 11:14 PM

The thing about Spook's mama though is that she's so poor, she's like a hockey player: she only changes her pads every three periods.

Spook / December 13, 2010 11:36 PM

On the really real, Ramsin's Momzzz be so UGLY that on the day before Facebook launched in 2004, they paid her to join,...... Myspace. And she so dumb that she the only one still using it, wondering why she the only one posting messages to herself.

Jason / December 14, 2010 8:00 AM

Yo Mama's so full of crack she got federal stimulus money for an infrastructure project.

Cinnamon / December 14, 2010 12:02 PM

Yo daddy so cold, when he shaves he leaves snow cone in the sink.

Jason / December 14, 2010 12:47 PM

Yo Mama's so fat she'd make John Boehner cry.

M / December 14, 2010 2:59 PM

Yo mama's so fat, that when she died, and they cremated her, she disrupted air travel over the whole continent

LEEBEY / December 14, 2010 6:08 PM

Yo momma so dumb, she walked past the YMCA and said "Look, how they spelt Macy's wrong."

Spook / December 14, 2010 11:13 PM

Fluffy's Momma is so dumb that theTea Party filed an order of protection against her after she attended their rally in D.C.

Spook / December 14, 2010 11:15 PM

p.s. thought I forgot about you making fun of my halloween ensemble!

mike-ts / December 14, 2010 11:38 PM

Your momma so fat, when she hauls butt she has to make two trips.

(In honor of an obsolete golden one from the 90's) Your momma so fat, when her pager goes off, people think she's backing up.

Your momma so dumb, she stood staring at an orange juice box for 20 minutes because the side said "concentrate."

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