Gapers Block has ceased publication.

Gapers Block published from April 22, 2003 to Jan. 1, 2016. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
 Thank you for your readership and contributions. 


Friday, December 2

Gapers Block

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Fredo / December 21, 2004 11:21 AM

More sex than the last couple years, less sex than I'd like. Oh, and the election sucked balls.

Andrew / December 21, 2004 11:26 AM

Work. Work. Fun. Work. Work. Fun. Sell house. Move. Work. Live without kitchen for months. Work. Fun. Work.

(badger badger badger...)

Mike / December 21, 2004 11:43 AM

Bikes, alternative weeklies, business magazines, random parties, High Life at Club Foot, brunch at Lula’s, “Rock Lobster” by the B-52s.

Michael / December 21, 2004 11:48 AM

Just one more year in which nothing significant has occurred in my life.

steve_sleeve / December 21, 2004 11:59 AM

Laid off, collected unemployment, learned to screenprint, freelanced, got hired, resigned. Released double rap album. "Real band" played more venues.

amyc / December 21, 2004 12:22 PM

Love, work (no job, shitty job, good job), school, volunteering, election (despair), DIY Trunk Show (joy), learning my limits.

Brenda / December 21, 2004 12:32 PM

"Love comes when you least expect it."

Eamon / December 21, 2004 12:34 PM

Bought a nice house
Played football, what joy
Kept both my wife
And gainful employ!

roderick / December 21, 2004 12:44 PM

I became: a photographer, politically saavy, aware of injustices, a graduate, a job-holder, wiser, involved , and a Chicagoan.

Shylo / December 21, 2004 12:56 PM

The truth is almost always disappointing.

Nuxrs / December 21, 2004 12:57 PM

note to self: Dating sucks.

emily / December 21, 2004 1:10 PM

New home, new job, new attitude...celebrated one year of wedded bliss, two years of living happily together in Chicagoland.

Anonymous / December 21, 2004 1:18 PM

A schmancy new look
And more writin' dint hurt
Perfection ain't free
Won't you please buy a shirt?

Steve / December 21, 2004 1:22 PM

Positive: moved in with the gal I love and don't it feel good being next to her first thing in the morn and when I go to bed each night

Negatives: almost everything else, from the election to the continuing deterioration of my job situation (I still have the job, but a creepy clueless new boss and continued shitty performance by the firm keep me nervous)

Thurston / December 21, 2004 1:50 PM

Seething melancholy.

Kay / December 21, 2004 2:09 PM

2004 Haiku

Stayed indoors all year
Only left to move my home
Ah, freelance career

Carrie / December 21, 2004 2:11 PM

My yearly goals were accomplished. I became healthier, stronger and happier. I'm officially over Him and have someone new. Yay.

Kristen / December 21, 2004 2:21 PM

i went on 74 dates,

and did 59 shows.

or did i do 74 dates,

and go to see 59 shows?

either way...i love my j. crew sweater and my diabetic kitty.

Alice / December 21, 2004 2:31 PM

I realized all that free time I thought I would have after finishing grad school was never going to appear.

tony / December 21, 2004 2:44 PM

Pink fuzzy dice and greasy spoons,
$4k of property lost,
an election full of shock and awe,

signifying nothing.

Mar Ee Uh / December 21, 2004 2:48 PM

My whole family: nuts
Discovered acupuncture!
Sigh. They cancel out.

Steve / December 21, 2004 3:12 PM

Ate too much bad food
Domestic comfort's sole curse
Must lose weight next year

Steve / December 21, 2004 3:14 PM

Renewed acquaintances
With peeps from high school class
They're mostly still jerks.

shechemist / December 21, 2004 3:22 PM

Quit job. Started school. So far summa cum lauden so good. Sold my car. Said a prayer of gratitude every fucking night for my husband.

Andrew / December 21, 2004 3:23 PM

I'm loving these haikus. Keep'em coming!

Cinnamon / December 21, 2004 3:24 PM

I took it to the limit in so many ways. Moved some limits, nursed some bruises, but I'm up and ready for more. After a nap.

j3s / December 21, 2004 3:27 PM

Fell in love again
then he moved to Oregon
time for more egg nog!

Steve / December 21, 2004 3:29 PM

Must apologize
For my first post up above
Forty words too long.

Steve / December 21, 2004 3:31 PM

Shock and outrage ours
At Ukrainian election fix
Never happen here?

Steve / December 21, 2004 3:35 PM

Sally Timms spied by me
Chicago stop Monday morn
Starbucks kept her warm!

Eamon / December 21, 2004 3:48 PM

Won a signed football
From the week three MVB...
Crap! Paul Edinger.

amyc / December 21, 2004 3:55 PM

(Oh, Alice, don't say that! The prospect of having free time after December 2006 is what keeps me sane!)

roderick / December 21, 2004 3:56 PM

Master's degree, check.
Real job now to buy presents.
Merry Christmas, yo.

Maggie / December 21, 2004 4:01 PM

Knee surgery/laid off/moved out/bad boy/bad job/good job/good boy?

(Sorry. I suck at haiku.)

Nuxrs / December 21, 2004 4:05 PM

Caffeine, Nicotine
Sexual Deprivation
Metroid Prime Is Fun

Steve / December 21, 2004 4:05 PM

Maggie's knee fixed
But then came unemployment
Mixed bag for sure.

Steve / December 21, 2004 4:10 PM

Arcade Fire sweet band
Funky manic monkey rock
Sometimes critics right.

roderick / December 21, 2004 4:18 PM

Steve's haiku's are not!
Four syllables his first lines.
Fixed, mixed, only two.

Steve / December 21, 2004 4:24 PM

Rodrick might be right
Pronunciation varies
I prefer fix-ed.

Carolos Gardel / December 21, 2004 4:25 PM

los yanquis aca
saben nada de nada
que boludos, che

Steve / December 21, 2004 4:30 PM

Que dijo Gardel?
Sabemos un poco, si!
Eres borracho?

Maggie / December 21, 2004 4:33 PM


Eamon / December 21, 2004 4:43 PM

Rod: "Is Steve able?"
"I say symmetry!" say I:
"Able Steve is, Rod!"

Lisa / December 21, 2004 4:49 PM

Broke up with boyfriend
eleven months without sex
hello, ex boyfriend

Steve / December 21, 2004 4:51 PM

Lisa's booty calls
To goofy ex surprising!
Try masturbation.

Steve / December 21, 2004 4:53 PM

Readers bear in mind
Lisa and I are old friends.
No diss intended.

roderick / December 21, 2004 4:54 PM

Lisa, I know fix!
One of my friends needs some love.
Do you have extra?

Eamon / December 21, 2004 4:56 PM

Not so surprising.
Nights grow longer in winter;
Cherry-print thongs fall.

Steve / December 21, 2004 5:01 PM

Eamon true master
humorous haiku spring forth!
Bow before sensei.

Eamon / December 21, 2004 5:32 PM

Your praise is sweet, Steve,
But like David Carradine
I'm just a white guy.

Andrew and Naz weep:
Steve and I have ruined Fuel!
Please blame the solstice.

A razor belongs
On cheeks like a kiss
Not slashing across
The length of your wrists

Lisa / December 21, 2004 5:36 PM

Today an old ring
was cut from my fat finger.
Goodbye, bad karma.

Steve can be jokester.
He gets regular lovin',
And now, so do I.

Brandy / December 21, 2004 5:43 PM

election aside
good friendships, little drama
pretty productive

Leo / December 21, 2004 5:55 PM

All I'm saying is that 2005 better be rockin'.

Angela / December 21, 2004 6:00 PM

Moved to Chicago.

christian / December 21, 2004 6:22 PM

worked. slept. drove. sold art. killed car. designed wooden bike, bought old bike, took bike apart to make it special.

20 words.

Failure Brigade / December 21, 2004 8:31 PM

Women still can't stand me.

Gay men find me strangely attractive.

Still celibate.

Gordon / December 22, 2004 1:16 AM

Watched movies too much.
Why are these all haikus now?
I don't f--kin' know.

steven / December 22, 2004 7:15 AM

hello kitty, nice to meet you
we would like to take you home
come live with us
we love you

katie / December 22, 2004 7:48 AM

job? let's not go there
engaged to my greatest love
yay! he has a pug

Steve / December 22, 2004 8:08 AM

Shortest day of year
We shivered, cold in the dark
Haiku warmed us.

eep / December 22, 2004 8:41 AM

In the year 2004
I found I'm a terrible bore.
My sis had a kid,
Yet nothing I did;
Next year I'll try to be more.

26 words, but what can you do.

Matthew Taplinger / December 22, 2004 9:20 AM

oppressed. cheated. hood-winked.
thousands die, few notice.
all an effective cover-up.
what's left to hope for?
mere existence.
otherwise O.K.

Matthew / December 22, 2004 9:21 AM

oppressed. cheated. hood-winked.
thousands die, few notice.
all an effective cover-up.
what's left to hope for?
mere existence.
otherwise O.K.

Milhouse / December 22, 2004 9:22 AM

So much sexual frustration here. If it was one or two guys I'd understand, but there's a ton of people, male and female.

Naz / December 22, 2004 9:30 AM

"So much sexual frustration here. If it was one or two guys I'd understand, but there's a ton of people, male and female."

I have a solution - come to the next Gapers Block get together for... speed dating!


A long year of work
Met a girl, fell so in love
Bike crash, no matter.

Naz / December 22, 2004 9:32 AM

The Gapers Block staff
Is grateful to all readers
For your long support.

karen / December 22, 2004 9:38 AM

great job.
dumb guy.
good friends.
lots of bars.
weird guy.
graduated college.
two jobs.
lost election.
no guy.

Wendy / December 22, 2004 9:39 AM

I'm not the new me
yet I'm a bit better off
than I was last year.

Pete / December 22, 2004 9:51 AM

Political idealism and (hopefully) momentary disillusionment, an old house of our dreams, another ten short stories started but unfinished.

Mike / December 22, 2004 10:22 AM

I have a solution - come to the next Gapers Block get together for... speed dating!

Favorite book, movie and food:

The answer to all three is Fried Green Tomotoes!

But seriously, does anyone ever meet anyone through speed dating? I'd be tempted to throw a monkey wrench into the whole thing:

"Hi, I'm Mike, I'm into Norweigan Black Metal, I hate dogs--I mean, I really, really, loathe them, they're a filthy abomination--I smoke about three packs a day and as you can see, I always wear yellow... every day.... 24/7... 365 days a year... always."

Thurston / December 22, 2004 10:28 AM

It's been a year of tumult
With one certain result:
The fools' vindication
And our isolation

A year of misunderstanding
24-hour news notwithstanding
Our fear of people brown
Causes my interminable frown

Handsome men kissing
From the pews I hear hissing
They say they choose whether to dig men;
When did Jerry Falwell choose then?

But this is all mere blather
As I'm selfish, and I'd rather
Date a girl I find fascinating
Then continue my ruminating

jima / December 22, 2004 10:53 AM


Carly / December 22, 2004 11:03 AM

Gaper's Block helped me
Find a boy and fall in love
I owe them much thanks

wc / December 22, 2004 11:54 AM

great spring, lazy summer, hello DC, missed chicago, why grad school, heart broken, heart fixed, best birthday ever last weekend!

Hello 2005!!!!

Alex / December 22, 2004 1:50 PM

stop sleeping.
day care.
new car.
house hunt.

davin / December 22, 2004 2:16 PM

you know what happened
isn't eight years way too long
maybe i can sleep

d4ve / December 22, 2004 4:05 PM


Mike-TS / December 22, 2004 8:24 PM

tedious long year
of unfulfilled potential
next year best be good

chris / December 22, 2004 10:40 PM

I was fat, I am fat. Lost hair, lost a tooth. Drank, went to school, drank, drank, spent money, spent money, drank, and bought a new camera!

paul / December 22, 2004 11:24 PM

04 is over?
Went by way too fast for me.
I need to slow down.

lacey / December 23, 2004 12:30 PM

Travelled the world, enjoyed friendships, served my Faith, taught high school, fell in love, travelled the world again.

Tina / December 23, 2004 12:33 PM

Hmmmm...lets see- served with divorce papers only weeks after the new year, spending every $ I have (and don't have) on legal fees.....and still battling it out in court almost one year later. Now, if we don't reach a settlement agreement TODAY, it looks like I have a trial to look forward to in 2005. It's got to get better from here! Oh well- Merry Christmas & Happy New Year all.

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