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Wednesday, September 22

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Bears Mon Sep 08 2008

Bears Start Season Right and with Good Fortune

For one very pleasant early-fall evening the Chicago Bears turned back the clock and returned to their 2006 "Let's go to the Super Bowl" version, complete with smothering defense and a battering ram of a running game.

The defense, which was so ineffective last season, harried Mr. All-Universe Quarterback, Peyton Manning, into what for Manning was a most pedestrian game. Meanwhile, on the other side of the ball the Bears very own neckbeard aficionado and game management expert, Kyle Orton, was his shrewd and modestly effective self; passing for a "meh" 150 yards, no TDs and -- most importantly -- no interceptions. Instead of trying to single-handedly win the game with his arm ...cough, cough, Grossman, cough... Orton did what he had to through the air and relied on the ground game to run the clock out and to wear down Indy's admittedly depleted defensive line.

However, before the city of Chicago starts buying into this season's Bears team as some slayer of Goliaths, CAVEAT EMPTOR!! The Colts on Sunday night were groggy as all f*ck. With Manning sitting out the entire pre-season thanks to off-season knee surgery; he was not in-sync with his receivers. Additionally, the depleted Indy and offensive and defensive lines were a boon from the football gods for the Chicago squad to embrace and relish. In any case, the old cliche goes that "a win is a win." which is true, but to quote that modern-day sage, Winston Wolfe of Pulp Fiction, "Let's not sucking each other's d%$ks quite yet."

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