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Fri Oct 03 2008

Footballic Ramblings!

As the Northside and Southside prepare for the impending doom and disappointment of losing in the first round of the baseball playoffs; the Bears have been flying under the radar all week after de-pantsing alleged NFC front-runner Philadelphia on Sunday night. After the pressure and intensity of an upset victory over Philly look for the Bears to possibly be a little sluggish early, particularly on the defensive side of the ball as defensive tackle/man mountain Tommie Harris will be suspended for the game thanks to missing out on required rehab sessions for a knee injury. Fortunately for Bears players and fans alike, this week's opponent is the bumbling incompetent of the NFC North the "professional" football "team," the Detroit Lions.

The woeful, woeful Lions have sucked for the better part of their existence and have been to the playoffs once in the past decade, so yeah, things could be going better for the bedraggled Leos of Motown. The downward plunging line that has represented the franchise for oh, so many years has possibly begun to creep, ever-so-slightly, back towards the zero axis and points upward with the firing of chump former-GM, Matt Millen, last week. However, with the Lions --much like heroin addicts-- it's impossible to know what "rock-bottom" truly is and I, for one, am looking forward to decade upon decade of Lion suffering. Meanwhile, looking ahead to the game look for Detroit to try and score touchdowns by utilizing their one talent on offense, wideout/destroyer of galaxies Calvin Johnson; Johnson, who I'm sure is counting down the days til his rookie contract expires and he can sign with a team that, you know, has talent to surround him, should get open often and early against the Bears secondary. A banner day for Calvin as he has two touchdowns and the Bears still win with (an otherwise) tenacious defense and soul-crushing, ground-pummeling offense led by Matt Forte. NeckBeard Orton will outperform Jesus Freak and Detroit starting qb, John Kitna but only maarginally. They still both suck.

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