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TODAY

Sunday, September 19

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Bears Thu Oct 09 2008

Footballic Ramblings!

The weekend fast approaches and the Bears have another test against the startlingly proficient Atlanta Falcons. The Dirty Birds -- who were supposed to be dwelling in the basement of the NFC South -- have been relying on a power-running game led by, previous LaDainian Tomlinson-backup/jackhammer-human dynamo hybrid, Michael Turner, to claw [talon? they're birds? okay, doesn't matter-Ed.] their way to second in the NFC South behind front-runner Carolina. Not everything has been sunshine and lollipops in the ATL as the Falcons have been wracked with inconsistent line play leading their offensive horse (uhh, Turner) to stutter in and out of first gear at times. To wit: when Michael Turner rushes for over 100 yards the Falcons win! When Turner manages fewer than 100 yards --and this is where your ears should be perking up Bears fans-- the Falcons lose. In their two losses, to Tampa and Carolina, the Turner Machine was held to 42 and 56 yards respectively.

Why is this good news for you as a Bears fan, dear reader? Well, simply put, the Bears have a very, very solid rush defense that can -- as I've maintained all season -- control any team's running attack as long as the Bears offense can manage any semblance of clock-control and/or points scoring. Which brings me to sunny point #2: The Bears offense the past few weeks has looked --wait for it-- a real NFL offense, complete with running plays AND passing plays!

That's right, ladies and germs, the NeckBeard has come alive like a f*cking Peter Frampton live album! [srsly? dropping a Frampton Comes Alive reference? Get a life! -Ed.] Orton, who earlier this season was seen as a huge liability, ahem, by me; has become a downright proficient passer. Granted, his yardage and touchdown orgy last week was against Detroit, but Atlanta's secondary eats as much of a d*ck as the Lions' so why not expect NeckBeard to throw touchdowns like it was going out of style. Watch for the Bears D to punish Michael Turner by loading the box and daring ATL rook qb/Bear bait, Matt Ryan, to beat them with his arm --ha, not bloody likely. Meanwhile, count on Chicago's offense to play the role of German Panzers to Atlanta's Polish calvary. Expect a steady dose of Matt Forte accompanied by occasional, but deadly, Orton bombs to the receiving corps.


Not A Bears Fan, But Still Addicted to Football? Watch These:

The only early game on in Chicagoland is the Bears-Falcons affair on Fox, however, the late games are two very interesting match-ups.

The late Fox game pits a NFL-cliche as the "desperate" Green Bay Packers travel to the Pacific Northwest to take on an equally "desperate" Seattle Seahawks squad. I'm sure whatever desperate team "wants it more" and "gives 110%" will prevail. Seriously though, I'll be serving around 20-25 Green Bay fans who'll have already been drinking for a few hours; so, yeah, if the Pack lose we're talking mass suicide and they'll be taking me with them for sh*ts and giggles.

On CBS us Chicagoans are treated to a very compelling game in the Mile-High City as the Jaguars of Jacksonville line up against the Broncos. Very much a living, breathing version of the old "Immovable object vs irresistible force" cliche; the Broncos offense led by Jay Cutler will be tangling with a nasty, ferocious Jag defense that, is entirely antithetical to how nice their cheerleaders look. On the other side the Broncos are sporting a "robust" 29th ranked defense in the league and J-ville is "rockin" a 26th ranked offense in the league. So, y'know, pray for the Broncos offense to stay on the field.

Enjoy the football this weekend.

 
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