Bears Wed Oct 15 2008

Footballic Ramblings is Hungover, Majorly Hungover

By Brian Lauvray

Yesterday I started an amazing, sprawling and insightful analysis of the Bears, the NFL, and various theorems about the laws of space and time. Then I went to my internship, paid a HUGE cell phone bill, had a generally sh*tty day and decided to get trashed on vodka, whiskey and beer, all the while pumping this tune on the juke: ">

Suddenly!, it's Thursday evening I've got a screaming headache and I'm wondering to myself, "What the Hell Happened?" Which is a sentiment far too many Bears fans are feeling this week after the debacle in Atlanta this past Sunday.

Fret not Bears fans, much like this hangover that's cursing my very soul this evening will soon dissipate, so too shall the bile and taste of lingering disappointment purge itself from your collective team spirit. And besides, at least you're not a Lions fan.

This week the Nordic marauders, the Minnesota Vikings, venture into Soldier Field to clash with your Chicago Bears; and there's nothing like a division rival to tempt your alcohol-soaked liver into another bender as you watch the Midway Monsters neuter the already flaccid (excepting for ,Purple Jesus, natch) Minny offense. So sidle up to the bar, order the hair of the dog that bit ya and get ready for Vikes v Bears.

For Chicago to have success against the Vikes --and to keep up with Packers in the race for the NFC North crown-- the defense needs to contain ADP. Again, for emphasis, the Bears need to contain ADP. They will not stop him, but they must slow him down. Seriously, and I seemingly say this about every QB the Bears play against, but the quarterback for Minnesota is god-awful and the receiving corps for the Vikes is god-awful and it's, probably a good thing because Chi's defense will have their hands full with Adrian Peterson. Offensively, NeckBeard and his receivers will want to effectively move the ball through the air to keep the Vikings D honest; as a Bears fan you should be very nervous if Lovie and crew come out with a conservative, run-based attack as the Minnesota defense is 7th in overall efficiency and happens to be particularly vicious against the run as they are 4th in the League in that category.

The Bears are Winning or Losing by Too Many Points, What Else is ON?

Indy @ Cheesehead
The CBS late game pits the Bears archrival, the Green Bay Packers, against AFC powerhouse, Indianapolis. Both teams are coming off impressive wins as Green Bay dismissed Seattle in the Pacific Northwest and Indy manhandled a dismal Baltimore squad. Peyton Manning appears to be rounding into his robotic all-Universe self again following some early-season missteps. Watch for Manning to slice apart Green Bay's suspect secondary with laserlike proficiency.

Seattle @ Tampa Bay
If you're a masochist the Sunday night game on NBC is right up your alley as an already desperate and depleted Seattle team rolls into Tampa Bay to face off with the better-than-you-think Buccaneers. Watch and see what scrubs get slotted into the wideout positions for Seattle's injury-wracked offense. Craig Holmgren should probably retire by halftime of this one...