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Thursday, February 27

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Bears Thu Dec 11 2008

Footballic Ramblings: Bears vs. Saints

In yet another seemingly meaningless game in the Bears end-of-season march to nowhere, the Monsters of the Midway duke it out tonight with the New Orleans Saints. Both teams are 7-6, both teams are on the outside looking in towards the playoffs and both squads will be relying on the wheel of fate to lead them to any possible playoff scenarios.

Anyway, the Saints offense is a mismatch nightmare for the Bears, uhh, less-than-stellar defense, to wit:

  • Blur-fast running back with deceptive power? Check. (Reggie Bush)
  • Blur-fast running back who also can line up as a wideout? Check. (Reggie, again)
  • Laser-guided ICBM accurate (and deadly) quarterback? Check. (Drew "I lead the NFL in yards" Brees)

So, yeah, good luck with that. But all is not lost for Chicago, as the Saints have an absolutely terrible road record (1-5), so really, I mean, the Bears should win. But they won't. New Orleans offense should be firing on all cylinders and unless some freak blizzard sweeps off the waters of Lake Michigan, Brees will have an absolute field day as he picks apart Chicago's battered defense. Short passes, long passes, medium passes, everything and anything, for you see Brees is a Visigoth mercenary with no regard for anything besides scoring points, raping and pillaging*.

For the Bears to win this one it's going to come down to the NeckBeard, Matt Forte* and whatever scrappy bunch of orphans the rest of the offense consists of. I know, let's not all get excited at once. But I mean, NeckBeard has gotta prove he can be the man OR at least the man that can hand it off to Forte*. So there you have it: pray for Forte and Orton to handle the Saints defense while you keep scrambling to the grill to see if the Bears defense is getting too burned. [Get it? Grilling humor, 'cause the Bears defense isn't that good and it is going to get burned. -Ed.]

*Footballic Ramblings cannot confirm nor deny this fact as our research intern was found gored with a crude pike in a Louisiana bayou.

*Seriously, dude should win Rookie of the Year....
*No, really! Forte is accounting for something like 30 percent of the Bears offensive production from scrimmage. Think about that. That's sick!

 
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