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« The 'Ultimate' Cop You Gotta Have A Gimmick »

Baseball Tue Jun 02 2009

This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Ryan Dempster may have been the first to come with blows but it was Carlos Zambrano who put the fatal wounds on the Cubs' new Gatorade dispenser, according to the Chicago Tribune. Zambrano, during his outburst of crazy on May 27th, brushed aside pitching coach Larry Rothschild in the dug out and unleashed his full rage on the dispenser over a disputed call at home plate that later replays showed was correct. Ever since, the Gatorade machine has been dying a slow death of leaks and a broken shell casing. When the Cubs return to Wrigley from their current road trip, they will be greeted by an old fashioned bucket and tap style dispenser, ones that have shown over time their durability to be resistant against the onslaught of angry pitchers. In some ways, this may be a good omen for a Cubs team that is struggling to stay afloat. If, someday, the Cubs ever win it all, what could they do with a Gatorade dispenser? The customary act of dumping the Gatorade bucket over the coach's or manager's head would become impossible. They would have to drag Lou Piniella to the machine, stick his head under the fountains and press the soda tabs to give him his proper Gatorade bath; that's just no good. In order to be a champion, you must be prepared for it and now another small piece of the puzzle is in place. The Gatorade dispenser was two months old.

 
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