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« London Calling Footballic Ramblings: Fantasy Football Facts and NFL Flotsam »

Bears Mon Oct 05 2009

Footballic Ramblings: Bears Romp in Orgy of Points

"Welcome to the party, Matt Forte. It took you a while to get here but I'm glad to see you were finally able to figure it out. Were the directions too complicated? No matter, I'm glad to see you finally joined the 2009 NFL regular season."

121 yards on 12 carries, along with one touchdown goes a long way in helping fans of the Bears forget about Forte's cringe-worthy opening three weeks. Consider the mere fact that Forte's longest run of the day --a 61 yard gallop to set up a Jay Cutler touchdown-- was a higher rushing output than he had total in games against Green Bay (55 yards), Pittsburgh (29) and merely five yards short of his rushing total against Seattle (66). Suffice it to say, Forte's performance against the Lions was a welcome return to form for the sophomore running back. Throw in another ridiculously efficient day by Jay-Bot 5000 (2 TDs on 18/28, 141 yards passing and a rushing TD) along with a defense that forced the Lions into five punting situations along with picking off an errant Matt Stafford pass and pouncing on a Stafford fumble and special teams that gave the Bears a distinct advantage in field position throughout the day and you've got a complete team effort, ladies and gents!

This week Footballic Ramblings is trying a new and rather gimmicky breakdown [Bullet Points? Really? -Ed.] But, y'know, sometimes it's really useful to try new stuff [Like being lazy after traveling for five days? -Ed.] So, onwards with what we're going to call "Accolades and Demerits":


  • Johnny Knox! Save the "Heeeere's Johnny" headlines, but, uhh, yeah, dude has arrived. Through four weeks the rook from Abilene Christian has become a favorite target for the Jay-Bot 5000 and has already created at least one highlight for himself on special teams:

"Callin' the hospital cuz y'all got BURNED!"

  • Matt Forte! Finally everyone's favorite battering ram/gazelle hybrid has returned to his 2008 form. Maybe it was just against Detroit, but considering that a very dangerous Cincinnati Bengals team is up next after the bye week, Forte might be turning it on at just the right time.
  • Adewale Ogunleye! Showed up for the game with a fierce appetite that only sacks and tackles for losses could cure. Hope he got his fill cause 2.5 sacks and 3 TFLs is a damn good day.


  • MegaTron! Who do you think you are? Some galaxy-destroying, defensive coordinator embarassing, freak of nature? How dare you embarrass the Bears' terrible secondary like that! "Ooooooh look at me, my name is Calvin Johnson and I burned the Bears for 133 yards on only eight receptions." Kudos, sir.
  • Bears Secondary! Uhh, see above. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.00.
  • Cleveland Browns! This team is awful. Just comically inept, I mean, I'd compare them to the 2008 Lions, but last year's Lions squad was much better at not constantly humiliating themselves. I feel for the Browns fans.

More to come later in the week, including Fantasy Football tips, what to do with your Sunday since the Bears have the bye and how to tell if Brett Favre is trying and steal your soul.

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