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Bears Fri Nov 13 2009

Footballic Ramblings: Jay Cutler Loses a Game All by Himself

Yesterday when I previewed this game I predicted points galore, that both offenses would make mincemeat of the defenses, albeit in different ways: San Fran on the ground and Chicago through the air. I was wrong, dear readers, dead wrong. That over/under of 43? That was comically generous for a game featuring a grand total of 16 points and 31 first downs! Hell, the Bears had as many first downs via the pass (12) as the 49ers had total and still lost. But why and how did this tragedy occur? And make no mistake this was an Oedipus-level tragedy. Peep the box score and tell me this wasn't some other level ancient Greek downer of a game?

How did it happen? Mistakes on so many levels by so many players on both teams. And who made the most mistakes? None other than San Francisco Team MVP, Jay Cutler! What's that? You thought Cutler was the Bears quarterback? Sure is, but he threw 5ive!!! interceptions (two in the red zone) which definitely qualifies him for 49ers Team MVP.

For the Jay-Bot 5000 there has to be a logic board issue or maybe he's outta RAM or his mainframe server is broken, something. This is the fifth consecutive game Cutler has thrown at least one pick; his third game of the season wherein he lobbed more than 3 INTs (Week 1 against the Packers and Week 7 against the Bengals were the other games) and overall this was his most abominable and costly interception performance of the year, of Cutler's 5ive!!! picks, two came in the red zone.

Say what you want for regular old-fashioned interceptions being costly, they're not. They're essentially gift-wrapped, short punts courtesy of the QB. Red zone INTs? There's a special circle in Hell reserved for quarterbacks that throw too many of those. (You're on notice, Cutler.) The red zone is a cherished and beloved zone where teams can be assured of at the very least getting a chance at three points and, potentially, a sacred touchdown. So Jay-Bot cost the Bears a minimum of six points and potentially twelve points with those happy red zone interceptions. [frowny face emoticon x a million --Ed.] Hey, but you know what? The Bears entire offense was awful. Jay-Bot was the only option thanks to still awful line play and Matt Forte being his usual self (41 yards on 21 carries for a "robust" average of 2.1 yards per carry). Cutler threw the ball 52 times and his two most consistent receivers? Forte (8 catches, 120 yards) and Greg Olsen (7 catches, 75 yards). The wide receivers? A whole bunch of Butterfingers and Slippy McFallsalot. Devin Hester? Awful. No separation and on a key sequence in the second quarter:

1st and 10 at CHI 19 PENALTY on CHI-D.Hester, False Start, 5 yards, enforced at CHI 19 - No Play.

1st and 15 at CHI 14 M.Forte left end to CHI 20 for 6 yards (T.Spikes). PENALTY on CHI-D.Hester, Offensive Holding, 10 yards, enforced at CHI 20.

(Two Plays Later)
1st and 10 at SF 49 J.Cutler pass short right intended for D.Hester INTERCEPTED by T.Brown at SF 35. T.Brown pushed ob at CHI 14 for 51 yards (J.Cutler).

Hilarity ensues at the 1:20 mark.

Hester falls flat on his face on a simple curl route and Cutler's perfectly passed ball is gobbled up by the greedy SF cornerback like an oversized, brown (presumably bacon-flavored) jelly bean. A few plays later, Frank Gore touchdown! The game, for all intents and purposes, over at that point.


The hits just keep coming for Jay Cutler. From the Trib: "Cutler was fined $20,000 by the NFL for abusive conduct toward a game official during last Sunday's 41-21 loss to the Cardinals." Good for you, Jay. Also, Tommie Harris will be fined a paltry $7,500 for his cheap shot from Sunday's game that saw him ejected in the opening minutes of the game.

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