Bears Tue Oct 12 2010

Footballic Ramblings: Winning Ugly. So, So, Ugly.

By Brian Lauvray

This was an epically awful game between two terrible quarterbacks. Seriously, historians will remember this as the start of the downfall of Western civilization if 2012 really occurs. Sheesh. OMG. Et cetera. Still, and this is always difficult to admit, there were some good things the Bears did. Making Carolina's quarterbacks look as bad as Todd Collins and Caleb Hanie (well, almost as bad) for one. We'll cover both the good and bad, people. Onward!

First things first, congratulations to the Bears ground game which scored not only one but two! rushing touchdowns. This marks the first time since Week 8 of last season that the Ursa Chicagoans had scored a running touchdown. Also, it's the first rushing touchdown in an away game for the Bears since a two-yard Kyle Orton scamper for paydirt at Houston in Week 17 of the '08 season. Not necessarily worthwhile stats, just odd, odd miscellanea from Lovie's "running off the bus" philosophy.

Since the start of last season and now, with Martz and Cutler as the new offensive sheriffs in town, there's a new aerial approach to the Bears offense that had to be abandoned yesterday thanks to Cutler's concussions. Lovie must have been thrilled to think about all of the handoffs and designed rushes that'd be happening; and for the first quarter the running game looked very good. Per usual though, don't let the box score mislead you, Bears fans. Matt Forte had two great cuts on two great runs to set himself free on those first quarter touchdown runs. He amassed 86 of his 166 rushing yards on those two dashes. Beyond that he was pedestrian. 80 yards on 20 carries (again, we're discounting the two longish TD runs) for an average of 4.0 yards per carry against a rather staunch Carolina run game. He got what he could against the Panthers and fortunately those early touchdowns combined with Chicago's defense/Carolina's horrible offense was enough for the win.

"The horror! The horror!"

And you thought you'd need not remember a "Heart Of Darkness" reference post-freshman English class.

I can't remember such quarterbacking ineptitude. I was going to cite the Buffalo-Cleveland "Snow Bowl" from 2007 but I looked it up and both QBs had over 100 yards of passing each and no interceptions between the two of them. Chicago-Carolina with four quarterbacks had a total of seven interceptions and a mere 147 yards of passing between the quad of doom known as Collins, Hanie, Clausen and Moore. After watching this game Colonel Kurtz really starts to make more sense. The duality of human nature; the brilliance of civilization and the cruelty of humans, the tolls of colonialist war and the savagery that wracks the human mind. It was all there in this horrible quarterback showing.

Julius Peppers! LOLZ! #MoreValuableEveryGame

Peppers at this point is forcing every single team's offensive coordinator and o-line coaches to account for him. Be it with double teams or constructing brick walls or using pepper spray -it only further enrages him; Peppers is becoming more difficult to handle on a game-by-game scenario. Until further notice, it's best to simply think "Mister, you're on fire, Mister," when you see him and realize that Israel Idonije had three sacks because the Panthers o-line was too busy trying to hold back the avalanche of furious humanity that is Julius Peppers.

Get Religion, People

Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Islam, Buddhism, Satanism. Whatever. Find religion and pray to your deity of choice in the hopes that Jay Cutler plays on Sunday against Seattle and that his precious little (actually very oversized) noggin is good to go. The Bears offense needs Jay Cutler like a fat kid needs cake, or something. The Seahawks are not Carolina bad (no team left on the Bears schedule is Carolina bad, no, not even Buffalo.) With Cutler out against a competent squad whose offense has a slight pulse, the Bears could be in for a long, painful to watch game.

Thanks for reading and, please, if you think of a worst quarterbacked game than CHI-CAR from Sunday in the past decade leave a note in the comments. 'Hawks-Bears preview coming later this week.