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Wednesday, July 24

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« Training for Bulls Training Camp Better Bears Defense: 2006 or 2012? »

Bulls Fri Oct 12 2012

Read After Every Bulls Pre-Season Game

Bulls_200.pngFair weather fans from Elk Grove Village to East Lakeview livin' SynergySports subscribing hoopster, take a knee, I'll watch all of the Bulls games this pre-season so you don't have to pretend you do. Unless you are into dissonant, rhythmless basketball, in which case by all means ask the bartender if she'll change the playoff stickball contest to the Bulls-Cavs televised live from from beautiful, live-a-bull Champaign, Illinois. Training camp in the NBA isn't as "do or die" for that many guys as it is in the NFL or MLB. There's not much upside to watching these games; your favorite player could get injured, if rookies impress it's while playing against other the D-leaguer's of Ordinary Gentlemen, and or worst of all you'll fall in love with Kyrylo Fesenko's split-ended flop-top.

The remaining pre-season games will be much of the same. Below I've listed some probable ingredients so that you can cook up your own pre-season post-game reviews; just insert the appropriate dates and opponents!

Attention Grabbing Opening Lines

  • It wasn't pretty but the Bulls gutted out a win yesterday verses the lonely (insert the team the Bulls beat here) behind a heroic, Ben Gordon-esque scoring performance of Nate Robinson.

  • When Vladimir Radmonovic leads your team in; points scored, rebounds, assist, turnovers, free throws made, three-pointers attempted, minutes, calling timeouts, +/-, and "heart, hustle, & muscle," you're going to lose contests like the Bulls did last night at (insert road opponent.)

  • Tom Thibodeau is in it to win it, the pre-seasons best win-loss record that is. Thibs played Rip Hamilton and Nazr Mohammed a combined hour and a half in yesterdays nail-bitting, head scratching exhibition pastime.


  • Taj Gibson sure is playing like he's a contracted free-lancing temp who's looking to be hired on full time. After his (insert his double-double stat line) display the other day, you can't help but pray that the organization gives him his extension before the regular-season deadline or else free spending lions like the Mavericks and Nets will stalk him as free agent prey.

  • Kirk Hinrich puts forth another solid effort. With (list the single digit number of assists here) assists and shot 36% from beyond the arc, Kirk shows he's not going to win the Bulls many games this season, but he's going to do his best not to lose them any.

  • Joakim Noah busted out the hook-shot he learned from Kareem Abdul-Jabbar this off season, on the way to a 16 point night on 56% shooting.


  • Someone needs to tell Jimmy Butler just because he is replacing Ronnie Brewer in the rotation doesn't mean he needs to make all of us as nervous as Ronnie did when ever he touches the rock.

  • Marquis Teague tries to do too much, again.

  • Marco Belinelli looked like Keith Bogans on offense and John Lucas III on defense coach Thibs is going to love this guy.

Injury Report

  • The Bulls left yesterday with all their ACL's not torn, well all but that one on what's his face?

  • Marko Jaric's ego was bruised when his wife Adriana Lima asked "why does the 5'9" guy, and everyone else for that matter, play more than you?"


  • The new guys are still trying to find their way to learn the coaches' system.

  • The Bulls might actually win a bunch of games this season, they play together and have that "everyone against us attitude."

  • Carlos Boozer doesn't give a shoot about scoring, and that's a thing.

The Bulls are going to need all the help they can get this season, so save your cheering voice and optimistic tweets for the "for real" games tip-off Halloween night!

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