Bulls Fri Dec 07 2012

Comparing Bulls Players to Chicago Neighborhoods

By Donny Rodriguez

This 2012-13 Bulls season is more of a labor of love than the entertaining escape we've all grown accustom to during the Derrick Rose era. They're constantly inconsistent with a record of 9-8. They win ugly, and lose uglier. Without the Blackhawks, the West Side's "Madhouse on Madison" has been hushed and now has earned the moniker the "Meh-house on Madison." There are bright spots, though. Progress is being made, and depending where you are on the Derrick Rose return optimistic-pessimistic scale, the Bulls can get the ship heading in the right direction sometime around February.

Until then, Carlos Boozer is a double-double machine eight of the team's last 10 games. Joakim Noah leads the team in rebounds, blocks, technical fouls and is second in assists, field goal percentage and minutes played. Loul Deng is likely an All-Star for the second straight year with averages of 18 points and seven rebounds per game. Taj Gibson is playing his way back to the sixth man of the team with an impressive Jimmy Butler nipping at his heels. There's still reason to celebrate. So in the spirit of the work holiday parties we'll all be darting around the city to get to, here's a comparison of some Bulls player to the night life scene in Chicago's various communities.

Carlos Boozer = Wrigleyville
It's the place where one goes to indulge in "shots" while haphazardly ending up with easy "rebounds." Assuming he was a single man, which if you watch his game, he plays like he's the only one out there.

Rip Hamilton = Lincoln Square
He's a bit older but can still have an awesome night every now and then. Just not back-to-back nights. Give him a break, he's in his mid-30s!

Taj Gibson = Portage Park/Beverly/all of Chicago's family neighborhoods
As Stacey King says of Gibson, he's a "hard hat, lunch pail" type of player. His idea of letting loose and having a swell time is block parties.

Kirk Hinrich = East Lakeview
Where else do people from Kansas party?

Nate Robinson = O'Hare
Either he's taking off or being grounded by air traffic controller Thibodeau. He's the airport bar that you rely on until your flight delay (Rose's rehab) is over.

Nazr Mohammed = Hyde Park
This elder statesman has a high basketball IQ and belongs with other thinkers in this education-rich Chicago community.

Jimmy Butler = Pilsen
Jimmy is from the deep south, Tomball, Texas, and according to his Twitter pictures he wears red skinny jeans and loves country music, so what other neighborhood other than Plisen would resemble his Tex-Mex homeland? Check out Honky Tonk BBQ, Mr. Butler, you'll feel right at home!

Vladimir Radmanovic = "Downtown"
This long-shot only takes the long shots. "Downtown"/Radmanovic is only in play when you've run out of other options.

Joakim Noah = Wicker Park
Since the mid-to-late 2000s, everyone has been saying Noah and Wicker Park are going to blow up. This year they have. Noah will be a first time All-Star come February, and Wicker Park's growth is so prosperous that they've converted an old bank into a Walgreens. Also, he's kind of hipster but not really, just like Wicker Park.

Loul Deng = Gold Coast
He has money, status, and plays hard but worked harder to get where he is today. He's a baller in the literal and financial sense.

Marquis Teague = Loyola
Time to study. You won't be in the workforce for a couple more years so just soak up as much internship time as you can, young lad. And don't you dare think of transferring to DePaul. It's just a party school. It'll stunt your growth.

Marco Belinelli = Uptown
He's erratic. You never know what you're going to get from him. On any given night with Belinelli/Uptown something crazy will happen, and you'll end up throwing your hands in the air and say, "When in Rome."

Remember, we watch basketball for entertainment purposes, so don't let the frustrations of this season get you down. The Central Division is extremely winnable and even if Rose returns at a mere 60%, it'll still make this team infinitely better than it is now. Have fun at your holiday parties and to steal another phrase from Stacy King, "Drive home safely, BEEP BEEP!"