As of January 1, 2016, Gapers Block has ceased publication. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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TODAY

Monday, February 18

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Airbags

Everybody dreams about leaving her job. Sometimes you just get tired of the same people every day or think you've worn out your welcome. So you think, "what if I did x instead?" This week's column turns to the classies to see what's out there for all us unhappy worker bees.

Bed & Breakfast, Lake Geneva,
Bed & Breakfast, Lake Geneva, $645K, Wis. Motel Realty, 641-XXX-XXXX

Carla always liked "Newhart." Not the show itself, but the intro, from the point-of-view of a driver going down a Vermont country road. It's fall. The leaves! The theme song is, she thinks, Vivaldi's "Four Seasons." It's lovely. She could do it, too, right? Right?

Coffee shop, MUST SELL, Loop
Coffee shop, MUST SELL, Loop
near schools, $69k
ABA INC 312-XXX-XXXX

Four in the morning again. Quinn had already been up for an hour, dreading his job, surfing the Internet. A coffee shop. That's an idea. It was the first idea that he liked in a long time. He loved coffee. And he was up early. Seemed like a good area, and he had more than enough in his savings — if he refinanced the condo. But as soon as Quinn had talked himself into the idea, as soon as the stomach butterflies appeared, he told himself that he'd suck at dealing with the public and that he was sure to fail within a year.

Floral Business in Wilmette.
Floral Business in Wilmette. Price Reduced! Long standing w/ built-in clientelle . great cash business. Excellent Northshore Loc. Universal Realty Group Michael 847-XXX-XXXX

Everybody knew Curt was an asshole. It was a rare day that he didn't scream at one of his employees. And although nobody cared, it got to Curt sometimes that nobody liked him. Except his lush collection of toad lilies growing in the side yard.

Sushi Bar Restaurant, Andersonville, Seats
Sushi Bar Restaurant,
Andersonville, Seats 70. 2 frzrs, full kit. Remod.
1 yr. ago. Est. over 25 yrs. $130,000 773-XXX-XXXX

Kelly called Beau over and showed him the ad.

"Is that the place on Clark Street that has the sign on the side that reads 'Tenpura'?" he asked.

"Yeah, I think so," she said.

"Huh. Well. I hope whoever buys it doesn't turn it into some stupid tapas place."

Kelly bookmarked the ad. "Yeah. Fuck tapas."

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About the Author(s)

Shylo Bisnett loves ironing, baking, gardening and being a naughty housewife. Let her know what you think about Public Notice at .

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