As of January 1, 2016, Gapers Block has ceased publication. The site will remain up in archive form. Please visit Third Coast Review, a new site by several GB alumni.
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TODAY

Monday, February 18

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Airbags

I’ve never been a waitress, but I have deep respect for food service workers. I could never balance three dinner plates on each arm, remember who ordered what, and remember to push the specials.

Besides the actual doing of the job, I just don’t think that I could handle the attitude. Food is either too cold or too hot. You either come by too often or not enough. And there’s a big difference between 15 and 20 percent.

I think that I tip pretty well, and that seems to be a good reward for decent service. What’s an even better reward? Not picking up on the server. Not leaving your number as a tip. Not being a total shithat.

Waitress Dunlays on the Square - m4w
You were our waitress tonight, I was with 3 friends. You short haired blonde and beautiful. I never know if it's a good idea to flirt with a beautiful waitress, because you probably get sick of it.

me, hat and vodka lemonade.

Christine rolled her eyes at Pedro’s clumsily worded, Spanglish advances. She’d worked at Dunlays on the Square when it had been called the Boulevard Café, and really missed the boys who came in for bluegrass night. Christine happily served them PBR, and never once got a come-on.

La Donna waitress with dark hair and a beautiful smile - m4w - 30
You were gorgeous. You had an accent that I couldn't quite place...somewhere in eastern Europe?

I loved your look, and you carded me (God knows why? Its not like I have any hair).

I gave you a nice tip because you made me smile. I hope it made you smile right back.

Carolina picked up the $20 bill left on top of the check folder. In the kitchen, she took Trisha aside and showed it to her. “It was a $30 check,” said Carolina. “Bitch!” said Trisha. Then Trisha handed her $10, pocketing the $20.

Kylie stomped into the kitchen and tossed a bread basket into the trash. “What the fuck is wrong with this place? Nobody tips me!” she huffed, her breasts nearly spilling out of her low-cut top. Carolina snorted a laugh into her hand and rushed out of the room, but Trisha patted her on the arm. “Sweetie,” she advised, “maybe you shouldn’t dress like a fucking whore, then.”

hot ass waiter with the nice bulge - 21
You: 20something, tall, gorgeous. your dress pants had a huge bulge i could NOT stop staring at. I was out with a friend of mine. you handed me a cork and a bottle cap. i said i would keep them forever. that was a filthy lie, since I left them on the table. i want to kiss you. maybe even on the mouth?

Dear All,

Just because I work at a restaurant frequented by gay men does not mean that I am, necessarily, a gay man. I mean, I am a gay man. But why assume, hrm?

Also, stop asking me to give you the special. I don’t know exactly what you mean, but I know you’re being gross.

Love,
Everyone’s Favorite Gay Waiter

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About the Author(s)

Shylo Bisnett loves ironing, baking and dancing naked. She dreams of being a naughty housewife. Let her know what you think about Public Notice at .

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