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White Sox Thu Apr 17 2008
The White Sox Need New Rivals
Baseball rivalries are essential to maintaining fan interest throughout 162 game seasons. Most often, rivalries sprout from loosely unified groups separated by location, beliefs, or prowess. The Cubs and White Sox, for example, share a spirited rivalry based on the notably different cultures of two teams from the same city. Who could forget the pandemonium caused by Michael Barrett's attack against A.J. Pierzynski? Thank you Tadahito Iguchi for grand slamming Cubs fans into defeat!
The spirited Crosstown Classic, however, only provides excitement for Chicagoans on six days each summer. To increase the intensity level of baseball's seemingly endless season, I would like to suggest the creation of a new, unlikely rival for the Chicago White Sox. Wait for it...wait for it..the one, the only, the Baltimore Orioles! Some Orioles fans claim the Washington Nationals as their primary rivals, but does a relocated expansion team have the die hard fanatics necessary for an inspired rivalry? Studying the cultures (and attendance levels) of the Devil Rays and Marlins implies the answer is NO.
Why the Baltimore Orioles? Is Sammy Sosa involved? The surprisingly Sosa-free answer: An Orioles vs. White Sox rivalry is an essential part of my quest for search engine domination. I anxiously await the day when I can tell curious clients and friends, "Just Google Angelos if you want more information." Imagine how many trees will be saved without the need for business cards. But Orioles owner Peter Angelos is suffocating my dreams. The tenuous relationship between Angelos and General Manager Andy MacPhail conveniently produces results like the one below for the search strand "Andy Angelos."
Igniting the rivalry should not be difficult, but any outside support is welcome. T-Shirts featuring Orioles slander are forthcoming and I am open to any clever slogans from Tailgate faithful. My sincere apologies to anyone who read this entire post :)