Bulls Thu Feb 09 2012

As The Bulls Turn: Will Ferrell? Will Ferrell.

By Brian Lauvray

"Blammo!" Just when you think you don't want to write a post about a dull, hardwood bludgeoning against a middling opponent, there's a video of Will Ferrell doing the introductions for the Chicago Bulls. (h/t to WXRT and the New Orleans sound man who pumped in Paper Lace's best song) So, thanks, Funny Comedy Human, for this treasure that fell into my lap. And much like me, the Bulls are probably happy they got a gift-wrapped 23-point win in the Crescent City against a sorry, sadsack Hornets squad.

The Bulls didn't do anything all too impressive on the offensive front. Save for Carlos "Still lives with his mother" Boozer and Joakim "He's a Scorpio and a horrible dancer" Noah (who is showing more signs of life, a double-double EVEN!) the starting five didn't have another player in double figures. Derrick "His favorite movie is The Notebook" Rose only had 22 minutes of burn and against a team like New Orleans in February, before the ASG break? You want this. Let CJ Watson have his "teachable moments" on nights like this.

What the first five and the bench did do well? Rebound and not turn the ball over. Additionally, they confounded the Hornets with team defense that cut off easy passing lanes and forced the Hornets into uncomfortable shots and vexing posessions. "Chess, not checkers, kids. Go Bulls Team Defense! W00T! et cetera."

And that formula: rebounding well, not turning the ball over, swarming team defense, that will win you a lot of games. Not by 23-point margins, but still, wins. Against teams like the Hornets, who are in a race to the bottom with Charlotte (former Hornets hometown, oh, irony), well, that's where the gaping margin comes in.

Anything Else?

• When is there not? First, here's Ferrell's intro for the Hornets. Apparently it was '80s Night? Was Will Ferrell in Hot Tub Time Machine? Snuh? Do note: the dead, soulless eyes of Trevor Ariza. Oh, Trevor, how I miss the sprightly, joie de vivre and defense you brought to those LA and Houston squads, so much more fun to watch when he's not tranq'ed up on Thorazine to forget he's on the death squad that is the Hornets.

• Tremble ye faithless at the might of the Taj/Asik Chimera. Oh sure, classicists, historians and archaeologists have been debating its existence for centuries, "It was at the UNITED CENTER all along, you guys." 22 points, 63% FG, 14 boards, 4 offensive boards, no big deal or anything. Just a two-headed, springy, fire-breathing (probably) amalgamate of awesome. "But Brian, where's the shot-blocking?" "Silence, infidel, the TajAsikasaurus only shows what it needs to win."*

• Finally, the "Yo, What's Up? Award" goes to Chris Kaman. After missing the Hornets' past seven games, Captain Kaman returned two games ago against Sacramento and did some vaguely Kaman-esque things against the Bulls. Please, someone free him from the boxcar of dead souls that is the Hornets.

*Thank you, Milton Berle, for that punchline.